A/M (WARNING THIS WILL BE DARK AND SOMEWHAT SCARY CUZ IM DEMENTED 😋 UR WELCOME)
Prologue
For I am unloved. It is hard to love something that you cannot see in its whole. It is hard to love something that has been shattered to millions of pieces and you cannot pick it up for fear of cutting yourself. For I am unloved ~ B.W.
Mariah
I just sat in my bright blue painted room. I needed to change the color it just didn't fit me. I turned up Jesus of Suburbia so I could drone out my parents fighting. Then I heard a lamp crash to the floor and I flinched, then I heard my mom scream in pain, I turned off the music and I ran to my closet. Usually after my dad was done with my mom he came after me.
No one knew about it, but here was a small crawl space behind a door that blended in with the wall. It led to a small room that had a dim lightbulb hanging from the ceiling and a small old recliner that I had found in it. I sat in it and rocked back and forth as I heard the precious memories in my room shatter to millions of pieces.
I blinked myself back to reality and I shivered. My CDs were the only things spared in that rage. That's why I hold them so close. I sighed and plopped down on the bunk Calum and I shared, luckily that was clean. Calum noticed my sadness and stood up from his cleaning. He picked me up and carried me to the back, then he closed the door.
I sat on the couch playing with my many bracelets.
"Mariah I'm sorry about your CD, I didn't know they meant so much to you," Calum said looking genuinely worried.
"It's fine Calum, that's not what I'm sad about. There's this," I tried to think of the word but it slipped my mind, so I just used something close. " This anniversary tomorrow and it's-
"Is it our month anniversary! Cause if it is I didn't know we were going to be like that," Calum interrupted.
"No, no it isn't that I swear," I laughed.
"I just it's the anniversary of a death," I said trying to act nonchalant. Then he gave me the pity look and I frowned. If he just gave me the pity look for that I wonder what he'd do if I told him my life story?
"You know what it's fine. It doesn't matter. Get back to cleaning, Monkey Boy," I smiled. He continued the pity look.
"Don't look at me like that!" anger raising in my voice. "I hate when people give me that look, they pretend to know but they don't," I screamed. Calum was taken back by my sudden outburst. I realized that I had given away more than what I should've.
"Sorry it's a very sensitive subject for me," I whispered. Calum wrapped me into a giant hug.
"I am here if you need me, and are you having any. . . ideas?" He asked. I knew he was talking about self harm or suicide.
"No. I can't die without doing something heroic or brave or awesome, so you know I'll probably just save a cat, then I can die happy." I smiled and he hugged me.
"I'm here for you, you know that right?"
"Yes, but Calum I can't take you seriously in that maids outfit, now clean Monkey Boy," I sighed.
"Yes ma'm," he said and marched back to the atrocity that was our bunk area.
Unfortunately as soon as the distraction left. My mind went back to my memories.
Once I thought it was safe I crawled out, I was wrong. There he was covered with his own drunken vomit with a murderous look on his face.
"Come here you piece of shit," he spat at me and grabbed me by my hair and threw me. I hit my head on the corner of my toppled nightstand. I scrambled backwards and ran. I didn't realize I was bleeding until I was three blocks away.
I didn't stop running until I was at my best friends house. I didn't bother knocking, I just opened up the door and ran to his room. I pounded on the door.
"Jack," I tried to scream but it only came as a whisper. He threw the door open.
"Holy shit, Mariah!" He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me into his room. He had his black hair put in its usual short mow-hawk it wasn't like what you're thinking. It was just a gelled up spiky hair, but anyways he had the tips red orange and yellow to make it look like fire. He sat me on the bed and rushed to the bathroom he had in his room. He came out with a wet washcloth. He gingerly dabbed at my forehead. I winced and gritted my teeth, it hurt a lot.
"If this was you're dad!" he screamed waiting for an answer. I stayed silent and found the ground quite attractive, even though Jack was too. A wave of sadness washed over his face. He dropped to his knees and lifted my face to his. Jack was the protective older brother I wish I had. I stared into his dark brown eyes and that was all he needed to know the whole story.
"This can't happen anymore, were leaving, tonight!"
"Jack I can't-"
"Can't what!? Take getting beat every night I defiantly wouldn't! I've got my license and you've got asshole parents, they're a perfect match. Remember that stupid saying we used to say when we were kids?"
"Birds of a feather flock together." I finished smirking.
"We are leaving, tonight." I nodded and he gave me a toothy grin. He didn't have the best parents either, they just acted like he didn't exist.
"Wait I need my CDs from my house," I said quickly.
"I'll get them," he said. "Don't worry you're pretty little head." He grabbed his keys from his dresser and shoved them in the pocket of his black hoodie. He left and I sat there waiting. I was sixteen and he was seventeen, brother and sister from different families.
Hours went by and he never came back. I got a phone call about three hours later telling me that he died in a car crash and it was all my fault. So close to escaping yet so far away.
I awoke from my dream land and blinked a few times to make sure this was reality. My CDs where also the thing that killed the only person that actually cared about me. The past was the past, but unfortunately, history repeats itself.
(A/N hahahahahahaha WHY DID I MAKE THIS?!?!?)
