Life Is Precious, Just Like Him - Phil Lester X Depressed! Reader

Drop Out

I lay in my bed, In my dorm room staring blankly at the ceiling. I was about to break...

Too much stress, I can't do it. I thought.

Loneliness has overtook me barely anyone cares...

My past keeps haunting me, why won't it just leave me be? Why can't I forget?!

My depression, my anxiety, I can't take it anymore! My mind kept going... It wouldn't stop. The thoughts....

Suddenly tears started streaming out of my eyes, I couldnt stop them and almost without control I sat up and opened your nightstand drawer about to reach for my release...

When suddenly the main door to my little dorm-apartment opened and a familiar voice sounded through the place, "Y/N! I'm back!" It was my dorm partner and practically only friend, Daniel Howell.

I didn't reply, would I still be able to in time before he came in?

Nope.

Dan suddenly came into my room, "Hey Y/N-" He cut himself off and I quickly slammed the drawer closed and wiped my eyes.

"Y/N? Are you alright?" Dan asked his voice full of concern.

"Yeah I'm fine." I simply respond, avoiding his gaze.

"I know what that means..." Dan came over and sat by me on the bed, "Y/N are you struggling again?"

He knows me too well. I thought. "...Yes." I quietly admit.

"Y/N..." Dan let his voice fade out, it was full of sympathy. "You wanna talk about it? What'd make you break this time?" He softly asked.

"So much stress... I can't handle it! I hate college! It's so stressful, it raises my anxiety through the roof! Then there's my depression and my past... I can't stop thinking about it. Why can't I forget? Why won't it leave me alone?!" A lump started developing in my throat as I tried to hold back more tears but failed.

"Shh it's okay..." Dan hugged me close and comforted me, "Maybe if it's easier you could just drop out? I've honestly been contemplating rather to drop out or not... But if you'd like to, we could drop out together."

"Really?" I asked.

"I mean, sure. I can agree with you college is extremely stressful." Dan replied.

"Okay..." I smiled but then almost instantly remembered, "The only good thing about college is I get to escape from my parents."

"Oh that's right... Will you be going back home?" Dan asked.

I shrugged, "I kinda have to... Where else would I go?"

Dan looked down seeming to be thinking, "I'll drive you home tomorrow. If something happens I'll be there and I'll take you somewhere safe."

I sat up and looked at him, "Where?" I asked curiously.

"I have an old friend I used to live with before college. His name is Phil. My plan was after I dropped out I'd go live with him again and you can come along if you'd like, don't worry Phil's so sweet he couldn't hurt a fly." Dan explained.

"Hmm alright that sounds good. Thanks Dan." I say.

"Of course. But for now I think we should pack." Dan said.

"Good point." I replied and got up searching for my suitcase and dan left me to do the same.

After I got all my possessions and clothes packed I went to go check on dan, I knocked on his bedroom door. No reply. I knocked again, still nothing. I slowly opened the door to see him curled up and asleep on his bed. I then looked at the clock, which read 12:45 AM.

"Shit I should sleep..." I murmured to myself and shut Dan's bedroom door. I then went to my room and climbed in bed, I tried to sleep but couldn't. I was nervous... Anxious even. My mind was running so many scenarios about what might happen tomorrow when I see my parents.

My abusive patents.