Life Is Precious, Just Like Him - Phil Lester X Depressed! Reader

Finally Home

After being unhooked from most of the equipment I was on, Phil helped me get to Dan's room, but the doctor said I wouldn't be able to stay there long because I'll need t be hooked all back up and monitored again. I still had the IV with me too because the doctor said without it I'd probably pass out again. It was honestly kinda embarrassing walking around the hospital with it but I tried not to worry about it.

Once we got to Dan's room the doctor left us, when Dan heard us come in he sat up, "Phil! Y/N---" He cut himself of when he saw me, "Y/N What happened?" He gasped. I just rushed up to him and hugged him, "Ow..." He quietly said because I threw myself a bit too hard onto him, "Sorry... I'm just glad you're alive." I said. He hugged me back, "It's alright, but what happened to you?" He asked again.

"...It's my fault you are like this... And the thoughts kept blaming me and I had to get them to shut up so I went to the bathroom to cut and ended up cutting too deeply..." I Quickly explained in a quiet voice after I let go of him and sat by Phil in the chairs by Dan's bed. "Y/N...." Dan's voice was full of sympathy, "This isn't your fault, it was mine from the beginning, being an ass to you, pushing you to the point where you had a panic attack, then coming home and yelling at Phil to the point where you felt you needed to leave.. That's not being a good friend right there and I'm sorry I treated you so badly."

"I don't mind, I'm just glad you're okay." I say. "Same to you.... I thought we threw away your blades?" Dan responded.

"I have more." I admitted. Dan's gaze softened, "You shouldn't have blamed yourself and relapsed..."

"I know. I know it was stupid of me. I'm an idiot." I say cutting him off.

"Hey, you're not an idiot. Yeah it was a dumb thing you did but no matter what you aren't the one who's dumb." Dan reassured me. I just nodded slightly. "How are you feeling?" Phil spoke up asking Dan. "I'm doing alright, I'm on a lot of pain medicine so I barely feel a thing but once it wears off, oh boy that'll be fun." Dan responded.

Phil and I both laughed a bit, "I can't wait to get home..." Dan stated. "Me neither, the hospital just gives me an uncomfortable feeling." I agreed. Dan nodded, "Yeah same."

"I can't wait to get home either because that'll mean my two best friends will be not in pain anymore." Phil added, "I hate seeing you two in the hospital like this."

"We'll be out soon hopefully." Dan reassured Phil and smiled. "Yeah I hope so." Phil said. We bantered for a while until I ended up dozing off on Phil's shoulder.

*Timeskip brought to you by my depression snatching my motivation to actually write and my insomnia making me get little sleep making my writing be a shitty mess :): *

Finally it was Friday, I'd been admitted from the hospital yesterday and Phil and I went home for a bit so we could shower and get some actually good food. I had just gotten out of the shower, and of course to shower I needed to take off the bandage wrap around my arm, the cuts on there were pretty disgusting to be honest. Thankfully I was given a clean roll of bandage wrap just to keep the cuts clean. I got dressed and re-wrapped my wrist gently. Then went out of the bathroom to Phil who was on his laptop in the living room. "Hey Phil." I greeted, he looked up at me. "Ah hey! Doesn't it feel good to be nice and clean now?" He responded looking up from his laptop. "Hah yeah." I agreed, "Are we going back to see Dan?" I asked. "Soon, but we've been staying with him practically since he woke up, he's probably getting tired of us." Phil joked and I rolled my eyes at him. "Okay, okay we will. But on the way how about we stop by McDonald's or something? He'll probably be happy to get some non-hospital food finally." Phil suggested. "Alright sounds good!" I agreed and we went and put on our shoes and jackets and headed out.

Once at McDonald's we quickly ordered to go then headed to the hospital to see Dan.

I opened Dan's door to see Dan out of bed. "Y/N!" Dan exclaimed once I walked in. "Hey what're you doing?" I asked. "The doctor just admitted me, but you two will still have to keep an eye on me." He said. "Oh shit so we went to McDonald's and picked up food for you for no reason then." I said.

"You got me McDonald's?" Dan exclaimed excitedly, right as Phil walked in with it. "Yup." Phil said. "Dan's been admitted so we don't have to eat it here." I informed Phil. "Oh so I almost tripped rushing on the way here for no reason?" Phil said. "You almost fell?" I asked Phil, concerned. "Pfft you dingbat Klutz." Dan laughed. "Hey!" Phil exclaimed but surprisingly not in an offended tone, "We have our playfully rude and sarcastic Dan back!" I laughed and Dan rolled his eyes, "It's almost like I was out of character." He said. (Breaking 4th wall? Hmm...)

"Well why're we still here? Let's head home." Phil said and we headed back again, this time with Phil. Dan and I were snacking on fries in the back seats while Phil drove. Once home our food was pretty much all gone, even Phil's which Dan and I ate too.

Once back in the house Phil where his food was, Dan and I exchanged a glance and laughed, "Oops..." I said.

"Y/N!" Phil exclaimed.

"We were hungry for non-hospital food!" Dan proclaimed, "Hospital food is shit y'know."

"Hmph. Well thanks guys." Phil pretended to be mad. "Philllll..." I complained, "We're sorryyyyy.... Don't be mad~" I walked up to him and he turned away arms crossed. "Philly Boi!" I exclaimed, "Love me!" I threw myself on him hugging him, "I won't let go until you talk to us again!" I said stubbornly but playfully.

"Yeah you go Y/N!" Dan chanted.

Suddenly Phil turned around and began tickling me, I squealed. Then he turned me around and pinned me down to the couch still tickling me, "This is what you get for eating the food I payed for!" He smiled as he said that though. "Noooo! Stop!" I laughed, "Daaan Help!"

"Nah, this is actually pretty fun to watch." He said and stood back giggling a bit.

After a couple more minutes of tickle torment Phil picked up my bandaged wrist and planted soft kisses up and down it, "Okay now that's just sweet." I said. "I love you Y/N, you're beautiful no matter what." Phil sweetly said.

Dan gagged in the back, "Oh shut up!" Phil and I both shouted at him playfully. "At least get a room!" Dan said. "If you don't like what you see you can leave." I tell him, not meaning it though. "Okay s'ya lovebirds." Dan literally walked out of the flat.

Only to come back a minute later, "Hah! Did you think I was actually leaving? Well nope, you two nerds are stuck with me."

"Works for me." Phil shrugged. "I knew you weren't actually leaving." I stated.

"Ack oh well." Dan just said.

"Oh shit." Phil suddenly stood up. "Hm?" I asked. "You have counselling today." Phil answered.

"Fuuuck...." I complain, "I don't wanna gooooo."

"You have to, I promised I'd bring you." Phil says, "Come on I know we just got home but your appointment is soon."

Reluctantly I get up, and Dan tells me, "It won't be that bad. Good luck though, I'm gonna stay here and chill for a bit."

"Alright, thanks... See ya." I say and leave with Phil to head to my first counselling appointment.