Life Is Precious, Just Like Him - Phil Lester X Depressed! Reader

Video Apolegies

Your POV

I felt someone shaking me and my eyes flew open.

How'd Dan get in?? I panicked.

I quickly sat up and scooted back to the edge of the bed almost falling off, and making my earbuds which I fell asleep with in, fall out from my sudden movement.

"Hey, Y/N calm down it's just me..." It was Phil's voice he grabbed me by the shoulders gently and pulled me back up from almost falling off. I sighed, relaxed realizing it was really, only him.

He sat on the bed and hugged me, "You alright?" He asked gently. I nodded and replied, "Yeah thank you. And I'm kinda okay, actually better now that you're here."

Phil laughed a bit then questioned, "Well that's good, did you hear me and Dan arguing?"

"No I didn't, you were?"

"Yeah, he was being extremely rude about the whole 'situation' so I ended up kicking him out..." Phil answered with a little hint of guilt in his voice, "But now I feel bad, I think I was too harsh on him."

"Aww, you probably just got protective over me didn't you? Thanks. He'll most likely be back. Sober hopefully." I say finally pulling away after probably too long of a hug.

"Yeah. I think if he does come back he'll probably apologize or something. Or at least he better, because I was a bit hard on him so he might actually think about what he did and feel bad." Phil shrugged.

I nodded not really knowing what else to say about the situation, "I still feel bad for making you come back." Is what I managed to get out after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Y/N, it's fine. But I feel bad for leaving you now."

I smiled at Phil, "It's fine you didn't know Dan was going to do that and neither did I... I'm just glad you're here now. But um... What would you like to do, for now I'd like to forget this subject."

Phil looked at his clock on the nightstand, "Sleeping would be nice." He stated. Though it wasn't even that late.

"Ah are you tired? Here I'll get up and leave." I responded and climbed off the bed standing up about to leave.

"Alright thanks, thou-" Phil cut Himself off. "Hmm?" I curiously hummed. "Never mind I was gonna say you can stay in here but that'd probably make you feel uncomfortable." Phil said.

"Ah yeah, um it wouldn't really though because I can trust you and I know you're not drunk." I laughed a bit at the slight dumb joke I made. "Though I'm not really tired, I've been resting and asleep since yesterday afternoon pretty much."

"Alright, if you need me I'll be in here. Feel free to wake me up I don't care." Phil replied. "Thanks." I simply said then left phil to rest.

I headed to the kitchen where I got myself some cereal since I haven't ate in a day because of barricading myself in Phil's room.

After eating the cereal and a bagel for I was still hungry and watching some Youtube videos, I quickly washed my dishes then went back to watching Youtube.

After watching like an hour each worth of markiplier and Jacksepticeye videos I got a notification that Dan uploaded a video and my heart raced out of sudden panic. It was titled, 'I got kicked out'

Should I dare watch it?

With extreme nervousness, I clicked it.

"Hey internet." Dan started with his normal intro though he sounded drained.

"As you can see by the title, and the background," He gestured to the shabby looking hotel room behind him, "I got kicked out of Phil's flat. But don't go blaming him. It was all my fault. I did something I shouldn't of after getting intoxicated when Phil wasn't home." He paused and I gulped trying to force down the painful lump in my throat that usually came on when I'm about to cry.

"I tried forcing my friend Y/N into well... Let's use the Sims terms and say woohooing." He said his eyes full of regret and his voice full of shame, even though he made a little joke.

"I shouldn't of but when I get drunk, I get out of hand and that last video I posted that she was in, I was drunk. And after I made Y/N take a drink which i shouldn't have because she told me she doesn't like drinking and I disrespected her morals, she passed out. I put her in bed, edited the video, took a few more drinks, posted the video and took more drinks before I passed out too in bed by Y/N." He sighed, looking down shaking his head sadly.

"I woke up to Y/N struggling in my arms for Apparently in my sleep I tightly wrapped my arms around her and she didn't like that. Though being drunk I couldn't think straight and ended up pinning her down, roughly kissing her, touching her breasts and upper thy and kissing her neck... Roughly. All with her telling me to stop but did I..? No. Not until she shoved me off of her and locked herself in Phil's room." He explained and looked back at the camera his eyes shining with tears, "I shouldn't have. I'm such an asshole and I lost my two friends, Y/N obviously, who probably hates me, which is fine. I deserve it. I deserve every raging negative feeling she is... Well feeling. And then phil. Oh Phil, he's usually so sweet but when he gets pushed to his limits and past, he gets pissed. Y/N ended up contacting Phil so he came home early and snapped at me. Me, still being drunk especially after drinking a whole 'nother bottle, was just as rude back. He was just sticking up for Y/N whom he cares about more than the whole world, and I- I was being a dick saying that she wanted it and everything." He wiped tears which were streaming out of his eyes now, "I shouldn't have said shit like that I'm an awful human being, I deserved to be kicked out and I probably won't be welcomed back for a long time, if ever. But i wanted to make this video to apologize to Y/N and Phil, but especially Y/N. Y/N... If you're watching this, I'm sorry I shouldn't have acted like that I should've respected you, but I didn't. I was just a horny, drunk idiot. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry times a thousand. I'm perfectly fine if you never forgive me, hell I'll Never forgive myself. I'm horrible and reckless when I drink, you were right, I wasn't me. I'll try not to drink anymore because of you Y/N, though I know you'll still not want to be friends with me which is perfectly understandable. Thank you though Y/N, if you're here hearing these words come out of my mouth, thanks for listening to them and my apology. It must've taken a lot out of you from watching this... And now I got my apology out, I'll end it."

I paused the video, there was still almost 2 minutes left and he was right, it did take a lot out on me for I realised there was unstoppable tears streaming out of my eyes.

Suddenly there were foot steps behind me and I jumped and turned around in the Spinny chair I was sitting in. I turned to see a half awake phil sleepily rubbing his eyes, and when he stopped he looked surprised to see me crying.

"Are you alright Y/N?!" He worriedly gasped. I tried to wipe the tears away and nodded, "D-Dan uploaded a video." I tried saying though my voice broke. Phil suddenly looked angry, "What about?" He asked protectively.

"Nothing really bad, he explained what happened and apologized." I say quietly. "Oh, did he seem sincere?" Phil asked.

"Pretty much.." I replied. Phil nodded and wiped my remaining tears then hugged me, rubbing my back soothingly. "Do you accept his apolegy?" He asked and I shrugged, "Kinda yeah."

"Do you want him to come back yet?"

I hesitated and then said, "No, not yet."

Phil nodded, "Alright we can bring him back when you're ready. For now you wanna get ready? I was thinking we could go out for lunch." He softly suggested.

"Alright that sounds good." I smiled and went off to take a shower and change.