Life Is Precious, Just Like Him - Phil Lester X Depressed! Reader

Counselling

"Hello, nice to meet you Y/N, I'll be your counselor, Danielle." I was in an actually pretty cool looking and calming counselling room, it was dim with comfortable couches, a little desk that my counselor was sitting at, a few shelves filled with books and a whole bunch of fidgets on a table.

"Hi." I greet awkwardly, I suck at meeting new people.

"Are you anxious about meeting me and being here?" She asked, almost like she read my thoughts.

"Yeah, kinda." I admit. "Well that's fine, you'll become used to me eventually and I'll try not to make you overly uncomfortable. How about we start with you telling how you've been feeling lately?" She said.

"Well, I've been extremely overwhelmed and not doing good, for a few days my best friend Dan wasn't acting like himself like he was being really rude to me and a couple days ago him and my boyfriend Phil got into a fight and I ended up leaving the house for a while, Dan went looking for me once they found out I was gone. Me being the idiot I am, I tried crossing a street without looking and a car was coming towards me. Ironically though, Dan ended up being nearby and shoved me out of the way, only to get hit himself. That was horrifying. I was the one who was supposed to be hit, not him. So I ended up blaming myself, and became over swept with negative thoughts, so I ended up going into a bathroom stall in the hospital and relapsing... I just wanted to get the thoughts to stop but I ended up cutting too deep and passing out. But you probably know all about that because that's why I'm here... I didn't mean to cut too deep though, I wasn't trying to kill myself, and honestly I'm scared of death so I'd never actually commit suicide..." I rambled.

Danielle nodded, "Yeah I understand. How are you feeling now?" She asked.

I thought for a few moments before answering, "Better. Now that Dan's out of the hospital and I know he's okay. Plus I think we're chill now because he's back to his normal sarcastic self." I laughed a little.

"That's good." Danielle smiled, "Now this is a bit off topic but why do you usually cut?"

I was a bit off put by this but I said, "Well... It's usually to help the emotional pain I'm feeling. I've had a bad life and sometimes memories wash over me like a tsunami, when that happens I just can't function and I get this urge, like a voice in my head telling me to cut and once I do I feel better. But it do it for various reasons, like if I feel like I did something stupid, I feel like I deserve to cut. Sometimes when I'm anxious, I do it because weirdly... seeing my blood is calming. And there's more reasons. But I probably sound like I'm crazy so I'll stop."

"You don't sound crazy, but there is better ways of coping." Danielle said. "I know, but in the moment I usually can't think of other things to do and I just go to my relief." I say.

"Hm, well what do you like doing? What things make you happy?" Danielle asked.

"I like talking with Phil and just being in his presence, and honestly since we've met I have been doing better with cutting, and feeling better mentally. He makes me better, he's the ray of sunshine I need in my life." I smile thinking of him.

"Well, maybe next time you feel the urge to cut you can talk to him about your problems, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to help you talk through you're problems. He seems really sweet and caring." Danielle suggested.

"Yeah, I'll try that next time, and heh... he is. I love him, I don't know how I survived without him." I admit.

"Well it's good you have him now. But may I ask, how does he help you?"

"When he first saw my scars months ago, he made me promise to not cut again because he doesn't want me to hurt. And he did it in the sweetest way." I said, remembering that day.