Heaven

30: Heads I Win, Tails You Lose

The Love You Have in You- Asbjørn

Cass POV

I had him pinned against the wall, with a hand on either side of his head. I was working on another hickey, although he wasn't very happy about it.

"I really need to go, Cass," he tilted his head to give me better access. "I'm supposed to meet Jack in 20 minutes."

"You can leave at any time. No one's stopping you but your own desire."

"And your arms."

I moved my arms. He still didn't leave. I kissed up from the spot on his neck until I landed on his lips. I pecked them once. Twice. "Go."

"Fine." I followed him downstairs, helping him get his jacket on and tossing him his keys. He turned and kissed me. "I love you."

I kissed him again before shoving him out the door. Only when the door was closed did I notice that April was sitting on the couch.

"Oh. I didn't know you were-."

"You don't say it back."

"What?"

"When he tells you that he loves you. You've never said it back. Why?"

"April, I...."

"Is it because of your old boyfriend?"

I nodded. "I've developed some trust issues, I guess."

"But it's Teddy. You do love him."

"I know I do, April. Trust me, I know. But, with...him.... He made me say it back. Even though it wasn't true. I only got more trapped every time I said it."

She stood and took my hand in hers. "Teddy isn't Grey."

"I know.... I know."

"He's never going to make you say it. He's so patient with you. He'll give you as much time as you need. Because he loves you. But I'm telling you now, if this gets to the point where you hurt that boy, I will destroy you."

"You really love him, don't you?"

"How could I not?" She smiled.

"He's mine, Harrison."

"I know he is. You win," she kissed my cheek. My phone started ringing. It was Teddy. April smirked at me.

"I'm not doing it over the phone, April." I answered the call. "Hey, babe. What's up?"

"Is it okay if I bring Jackson back to the house?"

"Of course. We're all here. Well, Dad isn't. I don't know where he is."

"He has some teacher crap to do. He left a little before I did. Don't you remember?"

"Hmm, guess I was distracted."

"We'll be home soon. Love you."

"See you then." I hung up. April was glaring at me. "I said, not over the phone."

She stuck her tongue out at me and disappeared upstairs. Teddy came in through the front door about ten minutes later, no sight of Jackson.

"He's on the phone with mom. He'll be in in a few minutes."

"In that case," I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into my chest, pressing my lips to his. He made a surprised noise into my mouth, followed by a quiet moan. I moved a hand down to fiddle with his waistband. "How much longer do I have to wait?"

He sighed, still smiling. "I don't know, Cass."

"I'm sorry, you're just.... The things I could do to you, Martin...."

"We'll discuss this later, in a more," he cleared his throat. "Private setting."

"Yes, sir," I winked and he actually whimpered. It was subtle and quiet but was definitely there. I pulled him closer and kissed him again.

"Oh. Sorry," I heard Jackson behind us. "Caspar, can I talk to you?"

"Uh," I pulled away from my boyfriend. "Yeah. Sure. My room's up here." Teddy looked scared, so I kissed his cheek. "I'll be right back."

Jackson followed me up to my room, closing the door behind him. He took a deep breath, refusing to look at me. "What do you want?"

"What?" I was confused. He was the one that wanted to talk.

"What do you want? What are you doing with him?"

"What do you mean? He's my boyfriend."

"Do you love him?"

"Of course I do. Jackson, what are you on about?"

"I miss him, Caspar! I...I miss my brother."

"Put in an effort to understand him, then. He's right downstairs. This...our relationship...doesn't have to change anything. I'm not going anywhere, and if I can help it, neither are you. So, just, try. Please."

He hugged me. "Thank you. Do you need the 'big brother speech'?"

"Nah. I already got it from everyone else."

I had Jack wait upstairs for a few minutes. Teddy was pacing the room when I got back downstairs. He immediately latched onto me. "Are you okay?" He kissed my neck lightly.

"Yeah. Of course I am, babe." He refused to let go. "You okay?"

He shook his head. "I was so worried about you. I thought he'd scare you and you'd leave me and...." He cried into my chest.

"Hey...hey, shhhhh. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. It's okay. I love you."

"You do?"

I hadn't even realized that I had said it. I smiled.

"Of course I do," I ran a hand through his hair, holding him close. "Of course I do."