Heaven

14: The Longest Breakfast

Symphony- Clean Bandit

I woke up the next morning, confused by the heavy weight on my middle. My eyes opened, and I grew more dumbfounded at the blue ceiling. It took me a moment to remember where I was. I breathed in. Caspar. He was still fast asleep, arm draped over me as he held me against his chest. I moved out of his arms gently, and I chuckled when he pulled a pillow against his body in my place. I wandered down into the kitchen where April and Mr. Donovan were making breakfast and talking.

"Hey, Teddy," April looked up from the omelette she was making and winked at me. "Where's Cassie?"

"I let him sleep in," I sat down at the bar. "Need any help?"

"Nah, we've got this," She nudged her uncle. "Right, Chris?"

He rolled his eyes at her and nodded. "How are you, Teddy?"

"I'm...okay.  Thank you, again, for letting me stay here. I really appreciate it."

"Of course. You're a good kid, Teddy. I'm happy that Caspar has someone like you."

"So am I." I heard my boyfriend's voice in my ear as his arms wrapped around me from behind. He kissed my cheek. "Hey, baby. Why'd you get up?"

I shrugged against him. He knew why. He'd been with me through a series of nightmares last night, holding me as I shivered and sobbed. I hated that he saw me like that. I hated that he saw that I was so afraid now that my parents knew that I couldn't even escape them in my sleep. I had no clue what they were going to do to us. I knew they'd try to separate us. Maybe they'd succeed. I was only 16. There wasn't much I could do to fight them. No matter how much I wanted to stay. I looked back at Caspar. I wish I had grown up in the same environment as him. He didn't have to deal with this. I was so scared.

"I know what you're thinking, baby," he sung into my ear. "We should talk. After breakfast. Okay?"

I nodded, worried about what he'd say. Maybe he thought we should step back for a bit. Maybe he wanted to break up. Maybe.... I didn't know. I didn't want to know. I prolonged breakfast for as long as I could. If I could avoid this conversation, there's no way I wouldn't try to.

"You know," he finally dragged me up to his room. "I know exactly what you're going through. You're not alone in this."

"You do?" I sat down on the edge of his bed. "How?"

"You've met my mom's side of the family. She went through something similar once she married dad. The three of us have been exiled for as long as I can remember. It only got worse after...you know."

He had yet to tell me how his mom died. All I knew was that it was about four years ago, and everyone had a really hard time talking about it. I elected not to push it out of anyone.

"Why did it get worse?"

"They blamed us, her family. They blamed me, mostly. I guess they had the right to, but they hated me, because who I was, who I am, was what got her killed."

"We don't have to talk about this, Caspar...."

"You deserve to know," he took a deep breath, steadying himself. "It was about three years ago. The last day of school before summer break, before freshman year. She was at home, and she was going to pick me up after school. Some drunk jerk.... You know. She couldn't get the car out of the way quick enough."

"How is that your fault? How is it because of who you are? I don't understand."

"She was taking me to Pride, Teddy!"