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One Shot Challenger #7

Title: Tangents

Author:

 There are always second chances. It's not whether he gives you another chance but it's you insisting another one until he sees your sincerity. The choice isn't in his hands; it's on your persistence. But when you first let go and the only thing he asked you is to not look back but you did, how would you insist on the chance that you had already let go from the very beginning? This is reality. This is how it would be. 

  "Shey, please naman. Kaya pa nating ayusin 'to." 

 He gripped my hand, pulling me towards him. Gaya ng dati, my body reacted with the warmth of his palm against my skin. I wanted to wrap my hands around his neck, to tiptoe and press my body against his but I have to stand still and keep my resolve. Hindi kami pwede. Hindi na pwede. 

 I heaved a deep breath, trying to clear my throat with the painful burning. "Ano pa bang ayos ang gusto mo, Brylle? My father slapped me. Buong buhay ko ngayon niya lang ako sinaktan. Can't you just realize that it's all because of you?!" Dinuro ko siya, pinagdudulan ang hintuturo sa malapad niyang dibdib. Ayaw kong gawin iyon. Ayaw ko siyang saktan. Pero iyon na lang ang tanging paraang naiisip ko para bumitaw na siya. 

 "And now it's my fault?" He asked incredulously, his deep, manly voice rising, his eyes swelling tears. Hinawakan niya ako sa magkabilang balikat. "Will you come back to your senses, Shey!" He shook my shoulders desperately. 

 Sa isa't kalahating taon ng relasyon namin, ngayon lang niya ako pinagtaasan ng boses. Gusto kong umiyak, nais ko siyang aluin at humingi ng tawad pero tuwing naiisip ko ang galit ni Papa ay napapangunahan ako ng matinding takot. 

 "I did!" I shout back, trying to sound as firm as possible. "Natauhan ako. I was so selfish. There should never been an us." 

 His body went rigid, his eyes swelling tears. Tila nanghihinang napaatras siya at agad kong pinagsisihan ang nasabi ko. Inabot ko ang kamay niya at aabutin sana iyon ngunit agad niyang inilayo ang kamay sa akin. 

 Nasaktan ako. Wala pa siyang sinasabi pero masakit na. I realized, sa mga nasabi ko, gaano ko siya nasaktan? 

 My hands started shaking as I see the bloodshed rims of his eyes. I don't want to see him like this. I don't want to see him so defenseless and hurting. "Brylle, I'm sorry..." I croaked, remorse consuming me.  

"That's it?" He asked, his tone falling and disappointed. 

 I heaved a breath, fighting the tears choking my throat. "Nahihirapan na tayo. Nasasaktan na kita." Mahinahon ngunit nanginginig kong sambit. Masakit. Mahirap. pero ito lang ang tanging paraan. 

 He disconcertedly puffed his breath. "So, ganun ganun na lang?" He asked, frustration deeply rooted on his handsome face. Tila tinunaw na tsokolate ang kulay ng kanyang mga mata dahil sa nagbabadyang mga luha. 

 Ayoko ng ganito. I need to end this before I could break him even more. 

 "Ano pa bang dapat kong sabihin sa'yo para ma- realized mong ayoko na?!" Sigaw ko. I was so desperate. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya kukumbinsihin sa isang bagay na hindi ko naman totoong nararamdaman at malamang ay hinding- hindi ko mararamdaman. 

 Sobrang mahal ko siya. Pero mahal ko din ang parents ko. I was trapped between two options equally significant to me. pero kailangan kong mamili. Kailangan kong isakripisyo ang isa. 

Tumalim ang mga mata niya, puno iyon ng pagkadismaya... ng hinanakit sa akin. "Dahil bas a sinasabi ng ibang tao? O dahil sa pagkakaiba ng relihiyon natin? 

 I was dumbfounded. Mula pa umpisa ay aware kaming hindi kami pwede, but we were so young that time... and so much in love. We have different religions and this difference disallowed us to be with each other. Pero naitago namin iyon ng isa't kalahating taon at matatapos na nga ito dahil sa isang sulat.