cafe ; j.jk

twenty one

min seoyeon:

"did you have fun last night?" jeongguk whispered into my ear as he reached above me in the cupboard.

i shivered and blushed.

"other than throwing up, and having a killer hangover, it was great."

"i'm glad you had fun, babe."

"listen, i'm shattered, and i need to go back to my place, come over soon?" i suggested.

"yes of course, see you later." jack smiled before kissing my lips softly, and escorting me to the door.

i walked down to the other building of the apartment complex and made my way up to my place. as soon as i got in, i shut the door and broke down crying. i don't know why i did, but something inside of me just wasn't right.

living with manic depressive bipolar disorder sucks ass, from being mega happy, to wanting to die, it's hard.

i hadn't told jack about this, since i've recently relapsed after a phone call with my mom. the only good news was that my book was being published, and jack and i were becoming a thing. but when your mom calls you telling you that your dad passed away, is hard. especially since i haven't been in daegu with them.

i walked to my bathroom, my mind all over the place after having to keep my emotions inside for the past twenty four hours. without thinking, i broke my shaver and took the razor blade from it.

i placed it on my wrist and starting slicing the skin apart.

my mind was giving me more reasons to add more cuts; my dad passed away, i never got to say goodbye. my dad was there for me when my mom wasn't, and i left him. jeongguk keeps fucking with my feelings.

"knock, knock." i heard jeongguk yell through my apartment door. i quickly cleaned up my wrist and wrapped some tissue around it and threw the blade behind the cabinet. i pulled jeongguk's sweater sleeve down my arm and left the bathroom.

"come in." i shouted from my bedroom, as i pulled some leggings over my hips.

jeongguk came in my bedroom with two plastic bags.

"uh, guk, what's that?" i pointed to the bags.

"well, i'm tired, and clearly so are you. so i decided to just have a movie day with you. i got us some snacks.

"you're never this sweet." i smirked.

"well, namjoon told me to show more affection towards you."

"why?"

"girls like affection."

"well i do, but i like you without you being affectionate. i mean, come on now guk, you called me a rat not too long ago." i chuckled before walking to him and kissing his lips.

after choosing a scary movie, and heating the popcorn in the microwave, we led down on the bed, cuddling and watching the movie.

"guk-" i held onto his sweater, as a jump scare popped up on the tv screen. he snaked his arms around my back, rubbing it gently.

my body melted into his.

"jeongguk, it's scary."

"that's why it's called a scary movie." he said, stopping his hand on my side.

i started to feel aggravated, the familiar itch on my wrist returned.

"you okay babe?"

"uh yeah, i'll be right back."

"where are you going?"

"bathroom."

i got up and headed to my bathroom. i pulled up my sleeve to see the tissue i placed there, completely drenched in blood. i wiped my wrist and put the bloody tissue in the bin.

just as i was about to reach for more tissue jeongguk barged in. i quickly turned my back to him.

"jeongguk! what the fuck get out!"

"seoyeon! are you fucking kidding me? how stupid do you think i am?!"

"what are you talking about?"

"you relapsed." jeongguk spoke, as he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, turning me around to face his body.

"how did you know?" i asked quietly.

"i did the same thing you did, the aggravating itch. and i saw it last night, when you gave me your hair tie."

"guk, i'm sorry."

"don't be sorry." he reassured, kissing my forehead. "wanna talk about it?"

"my dad passed away."