Byrd
Sometimes we went hard. Sometimes we went slow, and I liked slow. This was one of those times, in a small closet he sucks mercilessly at the hallowed skin on the column of my neck. I moan and wrap my fingers in that beautiful blond hair. I wanted to cry out that I loved him, but how completely inappropriate that would be. Bren is married to Raven and they have four or five, it's not like I keep count, children together. Not to mention Arsen and I are married and I have my sweet Ivy girl who loves her daddy--her family.
Moments like this I pay extra attention to, I think of them when I'm having sex with Arsen. I think of his lips on me when my husband is bringing me to the brink of orgasm, and then I remember he isn't my blond haired beauty, and then I just end up faking it. Bren's lips are to die for. I melt against him while his fingers pump in and out of me and my hand slides against that proud length of his. He feels so silky in my hand and like always I can't wait to get him inside of me.
I was fifteen the first time we had sex. I don't even know if I was his first, never wanted to ask. It was in his kingdom, my parents were there on business and brought me along. They pushed me in the direction of the Fire Prince and told me they had work to do and not to bother them. It wasn't my first time meeting Bren, no, it wasn't even my first time in the East Kingdom. He had this smile to die for and I willingly went with him. He took me to his chambers and we talked about various things. I made the first move because his lips were taunting me. They were so soft and tasted so sweet. I remember being afraid of the rejection, until he leaned over pushing me back until I was laying on his bed. He climbed over me and slowly took off my simple, flowing, purple dress. I was trembling with excitement and nervousness. I knew Bren was suppose to marry the Dark Kingdom's princess and I to marry Arsen. My mother told me strictly time and time again to save myself for my wedding night. She shamed me if I even looked at a boy--I was surprised she was so willing to send me on my way to Bren, or maybe she assumed he was going to take me to my best friend, Elianna. I laid bare underneath him and he was fully clothed, I never felt so vulnerable--and I hated feeling vulnerable. He sucked on my breast and then his tongue made his way down. I never had anyone taste me down there and I decided then that I really, really, liked it. When he sheathed himself from his pants I almost cried, there was no way he was going to fit. I scooted away and he grabbed my hips pulling me close to him. Bren whispered loving things in my ear that made me feel more comfortable. He took me slow and thoroughly and I was surprised when minutes later, after the pain resided, pleasure exploded within me while he thrusting into me. I asked him what happened to me, he laughed and said that I had an orgasm. He kissed my forehead and finished by spilling his seed deep inside of me. It felt sticky as the juices ran down my legs and I decided that I loved it--him.
Weeks later when my monthly cycle didn't show up I began to panic I was two weeks late and I was never late. My mother was pissed when she found out I was pregnant. When I found out I was so happy, I thought this was my escape. I could marry Bren and we could raise our child despite being fifteen and seventeen years old. We would be wonderful loving parents. My mother continued to call me a whore, a slut--thank the gods she never told my father who would've killed me. What she made sure of was that, everyone who knew, was paid off to keep their mouths shut. That no one would dare say a word about my abortion. I cried for days after as I bleed the remnants of my sweet baby. I should've kept it secret. I loved mine and Bren's baby so much it still hurts me to think of it years later. I used to dream if it was a girl or a boy. I liked the idea that it was my son, a beautiful blond haired boy identical to his father. My stomach has felt empty ever since, I've felt soulless ever since. I despise love, and I despise arranged marriages. What I despise most is not being with Bren. I always thought maybe the abortion ruined me and that's why I couldn't have children, that's why it took me so long to have Ivy. A part of me still thinks it.
