Broken || mgc

Chapter 21

*Third Person's POV*

"So Alison, how've you been?"

"I've been okay. I'm pretty happy, I've been getting better! I can go out more but only certain times. I still get nervous in huge crowds but I always go out with Michael and he always calms me down. I think I've come to terms with what happened. I know that even though I lost a child, I wouldn't have been able to care for the baby. I'm not financially stable and at the time I wasn't emotionally stable either. I mean those memories still haunt me in my dreams, I still have those nightmares once in a while. But, Michael has been helping me tremendously. He always wakes up when he hears me crying from a nightmare and he holds me and tells me I'm okay. He reassures me that it's just a nightmare."

"That's great. I'm glad he helps you through this healing process. I would like to discuss the miscarriage more if you're okay with that?"

"Sure." It had been a couple of months now since the miscarriage. Alison still doesn't really talk about it because she doesn't feel that there is any need to. She never had a strong emotional connection with the baby and she doesn't feel like she had a tremendous loss. She knows it sounds kind of bad, but that's what she feels. Alison knows that the baby would just remind her of that night and her anxiety about it would probably just get worse. She also was not ready to be a mom, how could she be ready for such a big responsibility?

"How do you feel about it?"

"I feel like even though I wasn't able to make a decision on my own, it was my bodies way of telling me I wasn't ready. I'm not ready to be a mom. I was emotionally exhausted and on edge all the time, plus I don't have a stable job so I wouldn't be able to provide for the child. The child would have just brought back memories from that night and I don't think I can put myself through that again. Of course it wasn't the baby's fault, but I just wouldn't be able to deal with it, you know? I'm still so young and I don't think I would've even been ready to carry a child, let alone give birth. Being a mom is such a huge commitment and I know in the future I do want kids. But I want to have kids with the man I love, I want to be able to provide for the child. I want to love the child and cherish them. I don't want my children to be a reminder of something so horrendous when children should bring happiness. I know it sounds bad to not love your child and to almost blame them for something they didn't do."

"It doesn't sound bad Alison. This is your opinion and no one will criticize you for it. I'm here to listen to your side of the story. I've seen how badly the memories of that night have affected you and I can also say that having a child at this time wouldn't be best. At the time you weren't mentally stable and I'm glad you recognize that. I understand that talking about a topic so sensitive can be quite nerverecking but I'm glad you were able to share your thoughts with me. You have made a remarkable improvement since we first started seeing each other. I'm glad your doing better Alison." Alison smiles at this comment. She is glad she's doing better, with the help of Michael and Dr. Wellson.

"I'm glad to be getting better."

"Well, I think it's my time to leave. Our time is up for today. I do think that you don't need to have daily sessions anymore, would you mind having some time in between sessions." Was Dr. Wellson suggesting they stop seeing each other? Alison didn't think she was ready for that. At this, Alison's eyes widen and Dr. Wellson notices her concern. "Don't worry, I'm not suggesting we stop seeing each other all together. I'm suggesting having weekly sessions, if that's alright with you." Alison sighs.

"Yeah sure. That would be great."

"Alright then, I'll call you so we can set up our next appointment. I should get going now, I'm sure Michael is just dying to see you. I swear, that boy can't go a few hours without seeing you. He's a good man, Alison. Don't let him go." Alison giggles.

"Don't worry. I'm not planning on letting him go anytime soon, whether he likes it or not." Dr. Wellson heads out of Alison's hotel room. Michael comes in not too long after. As he takes off his sneakers and hoodie, he strikes a conversation.

"How was your session today, Princess?"

"It was good. She said I'm doing better and that we're going to have weekly sessions instead of daily sessions."

"Well you are getting better, that's for sure. Have I ever told you how proud I am of you?"

"Only every day Mikey." Alison says as she rolls her eyes.

"Well I'll continue to remind you. You are so strong and brave, I'm proud of you for getting this far."

"How did I get so lucky Mikey? You've been by my side throughout everything that has happened and you continue to help me with everything."

"I'm the one that's lucky. Lucky to have you in my life, and I wouldn't change this for a thing."

"I love you."

"I love you more, princess."