Poker Man

Playing Hooky

"So you're telling me, you're now living with the your crush, which just happens to be a Mafia Lord or whatever you call them, and like twice your age, but you aren't totally freaking out?" Asked Jean with a raised eyebrow.

"Nah, I mean why would I freak out?" Shrugged Eren, Jean gaped at him.

"Hmm, I don't know, maybe because he's living three feet besides you!? I mean, there's not a chance that you won't see him naked." Explained Jean.

"I kinda already did." Eren laughed awkwardly, Jean stopped him from walking. They decided to walk to school, since apparently Levi lives right by his horse-faced best friend. Levi offered a chauffeur to bring him back and forth to school, but he politely declined. He didn't mind walking to school, especially with Jean.

"W-W-Wait, explain." He insisted and crossed his arms.

"I walked in on him changing, he wasn't fully naked, he had boxers on. It was super awkward 'cause he noticed but didn't even say anything until after he got dressed." Said Eren, turning red just from the memory.

"Well?" Jean insisted, Eren scrunched his brows.

"'Well' what?" Jean rolled his eyes like the answer was obvious.

"Is he right swipe material?" Eren blushed again.

"Yeah." Was all he said, Jean sighed.

"Oh no, we gotta get this straight. We're skipping." Eren tried to protest as Jean practically dragged him to the city, and into the mall cafeteria.

"Ok, now first things first, does he look like a top or bottom?" Eren groaned at the question.

"Why does that matter Jean? He's like...ok I don't know how old he is but he's definitely older than me, it wouldn't even be legal! Besides, your a bottom and you look like a top, so appearances don't matter when it comes to sex." Argued Eren.

"Yeah, but with some people, you just know they take it up the ass." Eren tried his hardest not to laugh, but Jean's way with words always had him rolling with laughter.

"Why do you have to say it like that?" He managed to snort.

"Because it's true. Well, anyway, you need to figure out if you're a top or bottom." Eren's eyes widened.

"H-How do I do that?" He asked timidly.

"Follow me." Jean lead him through the busy mall, all the way to the back, then stopped in front of a store. It was covered by curtains, and said 'adults only' on it in big, bright letters.

"Jean, is that a sex store!?" Asked Eren, horrified.

"Yes, now lets go find you some sex toys." Jean pushed him in, making him fall to the ground, inside the store. The store was surprisingly bright, and very colorful. There were sex toys everywhere of all kind too, even little kinky costumes.

"Holy shit!" Eren hissed, then stood up finally. He looked around at all the vibrators and dildos and lube and...what the hell was that!?

"I know right? It's like a gay mans heaven!" Said Jean excitedly, Eren gawked at him.

"How is this heaven!?" Jean smirked.

"You'll see."

***************************************

"Ok, let's see what we got here." Jean said as He emptied the bag of 'goodies' onto his bed. They were back from the mall, three hours later, and they didn't come back empty handed. Jean bought three bags full of sex toys. Eren was bright red all the way going back to Jeans house; even if the bags were black, he was still paranoid.

"Jeannnnn." Eren whined, not wanting to talk about sex.

"Dude, you need to learn about sex. Wither it's with Mr. Mafia or another big bulky man, 'cause I know that's your preference, you're inevitably going to loose your virginity. I know you know how to put a condom on, thank sex-ed for that, but gay sex is very different. So, I'm gonna show you the ropes so you won't seem like a total virgin when you fuck for the first time." Eren sighed and rested his head on his fist as he sat in Jean's computer chair.

"Fine." He groaned.

"First things first: positions. You now about tops and bottoms, so I won't dwell on that too much. Tops give, bottoms get, switches switch, not that hard to understand." Eren cringed.

"Next, make sure you always use condoms. AIDS is a very real thing, and so are all the other gross diseases you can get by fucking without a condom." Eren nodded, encouraging him to get this over with.

"Now, like I said, you need to figure out if you're a top or bottom-" Eren waved his hands in Jeans face, making him stop.

"No, I don't want to hear about that, ok? Can't we just play video games?" He whined, Jean sighed.

"Eren, this important!" He insisted, Eren shook his head.

"I'm too young to be having sex." Eren said as he crossed his arms.

"Not true, you're almost an adult. But ok, if you insist, but take this, it's an early Christmas present." Jean picked all the toys up and threw them in Eren arms.

"But I'm not religious, and Christmas is in three mouths." Eren pointed out, Jean rolled his eyes.

"Ok, then it's a Halloween present." Eren frowned.

"But no one-" Jean growled.

"Take the damn sex toys Eren!" Eren shut his mouth, but pouted.

"Where am I even going to put all this?" He asked, Jean went into his closet, then emerged with a suitcase.

"Here, put in in here, then you sneak it into Mr. Mafia's house." Eren shook his head.

"I can't bring sex toys into his house!" Hissed Eren, Jean shrugged, then put his T.V. on.

"Sure you can, just make sure he doesn't find them; that'd be awkward." Jean snorted.

"Yeah, no shit. You know, sometimes I just hate you Jean." Eren said as he pouted again.

"Yeah, but I have a play station." He offered Eren a controller, he took it.

"True, but that's the only reason I won't kill you, yet."

Awww, their friendship is just perfect. You know, I wish I had a gay friend to show me the ropes, you should be grateful Eren. Anyway, thanks for reading, hope you have a wonderful day, filled with lots and lots of love, or ereri, which I'd just as awesome. Also, almost forgot, happy Valentine's Day!