Idiosyncrasy (Harry Styles AU)

Thirty-seven

Chapter 37

Bethany

 

As I meet the eyes of the intruder to my apartment, my muscles relax slightly and I place a hand over my racing heart.

“Mike! What the hell are you doing back here? Where’s Harry?”

Mike’s eyes are wild and his chest rises and falls at a rapid pace as if he’s been running. My face pales immediately upon seeing his countenance.

“I’m sorry . . . But it’s urgent. Harry . . . he’s . . . he’s . . .” His words are all jumbled together, and he just shakes his head, reaching out his hand to me. I look down at it, realizing he’s clutching a piece of paper in his fist. I take it, shakily unfolding it. My eyes scan the letter, heart sinking.

“Harry’s headed for the bridge. He’s going to kill himself, Bethany.”

The breath that was once in my lungs is taken from me, and I’m left standing, bewildered. I suppress a sob and crumple the letter up, letting it fall careless and forgotten to the floor.

I quickly compose myself and tuck my phone into my back pocket, having forgotten that I had been talking to Zach only minutes before.

“Let’s go.”

As we drive to the LondonBridge, I dial Harry’s number. He doesn’t answer, which I knew was inevitable, but it still makes me want to cry. What if we’re already too late? What if for the rest of my life I’m stuck calling his phone over and over again just to hear his stupid voice on the stupid answering machine?

What upsets me even more is that he didn’t even bother to say goodbye to me. He just left a note. A fucking note left to be uncovered in his house after we received news he was dead.

Even if we have fought quite a few times, I still care about him deeply and deserve at least a heartfelt goodbye. A call. Something.

I wonder what brought this on. Was it something I said? Did? It must be my fault . . . it’s always my fault these things happen.

I close my eyes, holding back tears of guilt. He must have overheard my conversation with Mike. That must have been what set him off.

Swallowing thickly, I realize that if Harry kills himself I will turn out to be just like he was before we met. I can’t be without him. It’s been so long since I’ve ever felt like I belong. And with him, he makes me feel safe even though he’s-in a way-dangerous. I know now that Harry would never hurt, let alone kill, anybody. He’s as harmless as a dove.

I love him. I’m in love with Harry Styles.

Mike places his hand on mine comfortingly, and I look over at him with tears in my eyes.

“We’ll get there in time,” he whispers.

I can only hope and pray that he’s right.

____

again, i am sorry for the really really really short and shitty chapter but the next one is really long so hopefully it will be worth it ;)

CHAPTER TURDY-SEVEN GUYS

im sorry i had to...

please continue to read and comment :) ily guys

 

(misguided ghosts by paramore at the side. it doesnt really go with this chapter but it goes with what harry is about to do so yeah)