I'm Not Okay (I Promise) • Geetrick

26

---Patrick---

Donning my best false smile, Joe opens the door, to reveal Brendon, Frank, Ryan, Gerard, and finally Pete. The room is just as I remember it. A bed in the far right corner, a bedside table beside that. A few shelves here and there storing books and Green Day merch and the new edition of homework, too.

And a pack of cigarettes.

Gerard looks up at me and smiles, patting the space beside him. He has a bottle of beer in hand, it makes me a little uneasy, but I do as he wishes, sitting with my back to the wall. His hand snakes around my shoulder, and I can't help but flinch, scared of nothing but I still flinch, and he notices.

Brendon and Ryan are telling Frank and Pete about the dance while Joe's getting started on the conversation and Gerard and I are a little out of it. He kisses my cheek softly and slowly inching his way to my mouth with soft kisses until he reaches my lips and kisses me hard.

I pull away as soon as I taste the alcohol on his lips. I'm uncomfortable. I don't want anything to happen right now, he's drunk.

He looks into my eyes with concern but soon realizes what's wrong when he whispers, "I won't get drunk, I promise. It's just one drink."

I swallow nervously and whisper back, "Sorry, I'm just really uneasy. How strong are your promises?"

He smiles, "I have yet to break one, Sugar. You'll be okay."

His lips meet mine again, this time, I don't pull away.

"Okay, what about you two, how did the dance go for you?" Brendon asks, taking me from my boyfriend.

"It was good, it was hard to dance to half the songs there, but they were talented," Gerard says. I smile slightly.

"They're cool," I shrug.

"Okay, what about..." Brendon shuts his eyes trying to think of something to ask as he lies back on the wall, Ryan grinding in his lap slightly.

Pete is sitting comfortably with his back against the wall, to my left, his arms draped over his knees while Frank sits on the other side of Gerard, a bottle of a half-drunk beer in his hand. Joe sits between Brendon and Pete, lighting a cigarette between his lips with Brendon following close behind.

"What about you, Patrick, what have you been up to?" Pete asks when Brendon can't think of anything else to ask.

I blush when everyone's attention turns to me, and Gerard squeezes my shoulder.

"Not much, I learned drums and... um..." I shrug, blushing wildly. Things. Will never be the same time between us, I'm just going to be an awkward fuck around them now.

"Come on, there's gotta be more than just that," Ryan says.

I shrug, "Not much has happened,"

"Whatever, you're boring," Brendon says, "Pete, how are the lyrics going?"

And with that, the night continues. We talk and talk, I'm included in the conversation, but I swear to god, Gerard won't stop fondling his goddamn pocket, and it's driving me crazy. I want it, but I'm scared of it. He keeps his promise and only has one drink but either way, it still conflicts me.

We hit a point where everyone is kind of just drifting off to sleep. Joe's drowsily resting his head on Pete's shoulder. Frank is fast asleep, and Ryan is draped across the bed, but Gerard, Brendon, and I are still awake. Brendon's beginning to drift off.

"I'm going to sleep. So have fun you two," He finally says, "There's a guest bedroom in the room over if you want privacy."

"Sleep well," Gerard replies as Brendon flops down on the bed beside Ryan and shuts his eyes.