I'm Not Okay (I Promise) • Geetrick

52

---Gerard---

The Black Parade.

Mikey smells like The Black Parade. He smells like death, but I don't mind it. I don't mind the smell of him, no matter how alien the scent is. I love the smell. It reminds me of Dad. I reminds me of how life used to be before he passed. It reminds me of all those times we'd cuddle up on the couch or watch the snow fall outside. It reminds me of cold, groggy mornings and first days of school when he'd send us off to go learn. It reminds me of his face, filled with joy and his bright eyes, always happy, never sad or angry. He smells like The Black Parade. He smells like Dad. Dad's parade. The sweet giggles and all the times we visited Elisa, Lindsey, and Sarah. It reminds me of everything I miss. It brings back so much nostalgia I actually see Dad in my vision despite the fact that he's under the ground next to a mausoleum right now. Right beside Patricia's grave.

"Gerard quit squeezing me," Mikey whimpers. I don't let go, though. I can't let go. I'm scared that if I let go, he'll leave again.

"You're here... How? Why are you here so early? What happened?" I ask, my head buried in his shoulder.

"I wanted to surprise you guys and... Mr. Gray said I could get out a lot earlier than originally planned... So... here I am..." He says with a smile. I hug him tighter but I let go, not wanting it to go any further, "How's your life? What's been going on?"

He walks inside and sets his bags down in a neat pile on the living room floor. I glance at Patrick who has his phone out, and I'm guessing he's texting Brendon to tell him what happened.

"We were just about to go to Brendon's with Pete and Joe and Frank and Ryan," I say.

"And Andy. Joe's gotta have his boyfriend, too." Patrick mumbles, "He told me that we should just bring Mikey along. You wanna go?"

Mikey looks over at us, "I have no idea who and of those people are but... sure? Are you two dating by the way? And why are you here? And... What the hell even happened?" He laughs slightly.

"I'll explain everything on the way there," I promise.

"O-okay..."

"Ready to go?" Patrick asks softly, I can tell he's kind of anxious, but I quickly lace his hand in mine trying to tell him it's going to be okay.

I nod, looking to Mikey who nods back. We leave, heading towards the bus stop. I stand between the two of them, my hand in Patrick's while I talk to Mikey.

"A ton has happened since The Black Parade, honestly..." I smile, "After a while of struggling, Patrick and I got together... He was..." I look to the blonde, asking for permission to tell him. He only mumbles out a, "Not everything..."

"He was having some problems at home... He was sent to a foster care home, but Mama ended up adopting him and... yeah... Now he lives with us..." I say, leaving out as much detail as I can because I really don't want to tell him every single thing that happened. It's way too depressing of a story.

Patrick squeezes my hand gratefully which I squeeze back as a, "No problem," The bus stop is here now. The bus isn't. I pull out my phone and check the time: 11:18. It arrives at 11:20.

"What about you? How's your life?" I ask, directing my attention back up to my brother. I can't help but wonder if he had any dates when he was at the school. Or who his friends were. Or if he ever missed us more than usual. I guess that was his way of getting over Dad's death, though, and Patrick is mine. Smoking is Mama's.

"It was... alright... I had, what, one friend? His name was Matt, but he was usually off with another group. Nobody really talked to me much. I got a few dates here and there but they never really lasted and... I think I'm gay..." He says, lowering his voice at the last part.