I'm Not Okay (I Promise) • Geetrick

33

---Patrick---

Everything. Hurts. Please. Stop. Please.

"Kevin, Kevin, stop please!" I cry out, tears lining my eyes as I struggle against his grip. My world is slipping from my fingertips. It's straining against me. I'm losing all control. I've lost all control. I'm stuck. Trapped. Useless. I can't do anything anymore, "Please, it hurts, please, stop."

"You're a fucking whore, I know you fucking like it." Kevin growls into my ear, "Come on, scream for me, slut."

I don't want to. I don't want to give him what he wants.

But I have to.

It hurts so badly, and I can't stop the earsplitting sound from leaving my throat. The screech of agony. Of hate. Of guilt. Of devastation.

Kevin hoists my legs up farther unrestraining my hands for just a split second, but I use it to cover my face with the sleeves of my hoodie, still sobbing and yelling and begging and crying. I've never felt so scared or miserable or embarrassed in my life.

He yanks my hair back, forcing my head back and he bites into my neck, leaving marks I know won't go away for a long while.

I scream again. My whole body is on fire. I would do anything for it to just go away but all I can do it cry and beg for it to end.

"Patrick,"

Stop, stop, stop.

"Patrick,"

Please just go away!

"Patrick! Hey, wake up, Honey."

My eyes dart open. I'm still screaming, and I see Allie beside me, worried and trying her best to calm me down. Her brown hair covering parts of her eyes. Her brown eyes gazing worriedly into mine. I look around, expecting to see Kevin. Expecting him to be hovering over me. Expecting another dagger of pain.

There's nothing.

As I look around, I realize I'm in reality. Kevin is in jail. Dad is there with him. Megan is... gone.

"You had a nightmare, you were screaming, and I was worried-"

Funny joke.

"You're paid to worry about me," I snap, "Go away, please."

She clenches her jaw, frustrated, but leaves, standing up and turning, slamming the door shut on her way out which only makes me jump.

The image of Kevin is still burning in my mind, and I need a distraction. Now.

I pull my phone from my bedside table, shoving my earbuds in my ears and turning the volume up, the music already playing.

As my eyes rest on my screen, I see Pete's texts that I missed during the flashback earlier.

Pete: I need you to go to the bridge tomorrow.

Pete: I have some really good news.

Pete: Okay?

I frown, confused as to what he might want. And why the bridge? It's not really the place I'd usually meet up with a friend... only with Gerard.

Gerard's gone, though. He's not coming back. It's just me now and whoever doesn't bully me in my new school.

Patrick: What about Allie and Mark? What if they don't want me to go? How am I supposed to get there?

My eyes wander my room while I wait for him to reply. I guess I could take the bus... and Allie and Mark aren't super overprotective of me...