I'm Not Okay (I Promise) • Geetrick

40

---Gerard---

That afternoon, after school, Patrick isn't at the bus stop after school. He's one minute late, which isn't that bad if he's caught up talking to Joe or Brendon or Pete, but it still worries me a little. I guess I shouldn't be so overprotective, but I can't help it. I don't want anyone to hurt him. He's been through enough as it is with his Dad and Kevin.

Two, then three minutes pass... I can't help but wonder where he is. He'd usually be here by now, but as I wait, I realize he isn't coming, and I start gnawing on my lip worriedly.

My eyes dart around with my eyebrows furrowed, but he's nowhere in sight. Did something happen? Was he held after school?

Or is it something worse?

I text him and wait a bit. One minute passes, then two.

I text again.

He still doesn't reply.

By now, I'm biting my nails stressed and nervous. The bus pulls up, but I don't get in. Not without Patrick. Something's wrong. As soon as the bus leaves, the driver a little confused, I walk back towards the empty school, looking around the grounds but I have no idea where he is. Is he okay? Something definitely happened, I just don't know what yet, "Patrick?" I call, desperation lacing my voice as my feet numbly carry me through the school grounds. I feel like I'm about to cry I'm so scared. Where is he? What's happening? Did someone take him? My first thought is David or Kevin, but I know they're in jail.

Then my mind goes to Bob, Jon, and Spencer and I swear to god I've never run so fast in my life.

"Patrick!" I scream, "Where are you?"

The wind whips my hair as I wait, but there's no reply. I search around the school, checking every corner and crevice but he's not to be found. My search takes me to the field outside the high school, the bleachers, the basketball court, all the way around the block. Nothing. Patrick is nowhere to be found. My heart is pounding in my ears, and I'm beginning to get light headed, where is he? What happened? Was it Bob and Jon and Spencer? Just Bob? Does Pete know? I can barely breathe as I reach the office, stuttering out the only words I can, "D-did y-y-you see a b-boy come th-through here with-with blonde hair and a-a fedora?"

"Are you okay?" The office attendant asks alarmed.

I'm not okay. I can't breathe, and my mind is spinning at a mile a minute the only thing I can focus on is Patrick. Where is Patrick? I hear footsteps, but my vision flickers. I can't get air. I'm hyperventilating. I... can't...

"Honey, I need you to breathe." She holds my hand against her stomach and takes a deep breath in, "In and out. Just breathe for me, okay?"

I force myself to follow her instructions, tears leaking from my eyes and my chest heaving slower and slower until I can grasp my thoughts again, keeping a firm grip on them.

After a minute or so of calming down, she finally says something, a gentle question, "Okay, what is your situation, Hun?"

"I need to find..." I take a deep breath, clearing my mind, "I need to find my boyfriend, Patrick Stumph."

"He left just a little bit ago with another boy, why? What happened?" She's concerned, but I don't have time to tell her.

"Bob Bryar?"

"Yes, why-"

"Thank you," I blurt out, slipping from her fingertips and leaving before she can protest, running back around the school. That's when I realize I think I might know where he is and I know exactly where to go. It's just an idea, but it's my only chance at this point. I sprint as fast as I can towards the place in mind, adrenaline pumping through my veins. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. What will I see when I get there? Rape? Murder? A beating?