I'm Not Okay (I Promise) • Geetrick

54

---Patrick---

"Everybody shut up."

Knock, knock, knock.

The door feels smooth under my knuckles as I alert Brendon of where we are. Gerard and Pete behind me, Mikey had to leave to buy some presents because he completely forgot that he can't be a selfish bastard until Christmas Eve. Not to mention, all the stores will be sold out, and at best he could get a sketching book for Gerard, so I feel terrible for him. But on the bright side, I'll have some time with Pete to show him some of the songs I've been making. I've only made three so far, but I've found it as an outlet. It may not give me the high drugs do or the haze of sex or the rush of self-harm, but it's just about the only substitute I have. It's nice. It gives me something to do when Gerard isn't around. A place for my thoughts at three in the morning when I frankly don't want to sleep.

"Come in!" Ryan calls from inside, "It's unlocked!"

I open the door, holding it there as Pete and Gerard go ahead of me, and I trail in soon after, my presents in hand. My eyes dart over Gerard's ass for a split second, and then I'm following my friend and my lover inside, shutting the door.

We continue upstairs, and into Brendon's room where Frank, Ryan, Brendon, Andy, Joe, Dallon, and Ray are laying around, each has one or two people to talk to, and I blink as I hoist the bag further up my back, "Christmas presents?"

"The tree is in the living room," Brendon replies, "You can wrap some stuff up if you want in my parent's room."

I give him the best thumb's up I can with a bag in both hands as Pete, and I head to the tree, and Gerard stays behind to talk to Brendon.

As we walk, I can't help but act a little nervous.

What if Pete doesn't like my lyrics? What if they kind of suck? I know some of the stuff I write is a lot more obvious, but I'm hoping it'll be okay.

"You all right?" Pete asks as I kneel down and unzip my bag, pulling out the Christmas presents that Gerard and I wrapped.

"Yeah, uh, I wanna show you something I've been working on in a bit. If that's okay." I murmur, my pocket feeling ten times heavier from the paper.

Pete chuckles and nods, "Alright."

I swallow as I finish with the presents, admiring the tree (covered in ornaments and topped with a star) and the presents (At least fifty of them, ten or twenty of them are massive).

I pull away from the tree for a moment as Pete finishes placing his presents under the tree, then turns to me, "Wanna go to Bren's room or...?"

"Brendon's room is fine," I reply, then begin walking up the stairs, "Did you bring your notebook?"

"Of course I did," Pete replies, "I wrote one last night at like midnight."

"Yessss," I smile, excited to see the songs he's written. It's not very often that he lets me see one he wrote relatively recently, but it seems like I'm getting an exception.

We continue to Brendon's room and sit in the only free corner, Pete pulling out his notebook immediately and me pulling out my papers. Alone Together, From Now On We Are Enemies, Coast.

"You first," I say, blushing softly as he flips through his notebook and finds the last page he wrote in, a mess of scribbled words and such.

He hands it over, the title reading: What A Catch, Donnie.

"You gonna elaborate?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

"I promise not to attempt again. The song is about you, but it's my promise not to attempt."