Bad Blood

13.

The funeral went as well as a funeral could go. People showed up, not many, but everyone who knew Gran. Neighbors, friends from bingo, me, Dan and his parents. The sun had made an appearance despite it having rained every day of spring so far. It shone down on the cemetery and all the flowers seemed to have bloomed just in time. What should've been a painful day ended up being more of a celebration of her life than anything else. The vicar at our local church, where Gran had gone every Sunday morning for her entire life, spoke of her great kindness and warm heart. I didn't stand up and speak. I'd said everything I'd ever wanted to whilst she was alive. And every person in that room knew how much I loved her.

What was strikingly obvious was how alone I was now. My entire family was gone. There were no aunts or uncles. No cousins or siblings. I was the last one. Or was I? I couldn't get the adoption thing from my mind. What if I had an entire family out there somewhere? What if my Mum was still alive, wondering where I was? I had a father somewhere. I had a whole other life I knew nothing of.

Dans parents were amazingly supportive. I'd not seen them for over ten years and still they hugged me tightly and fussed over me, each of them looking no different to how I remembered. They were dressed nicely and stood beside Dan in his black suit and tie with a white shirt.

'You've turned into a beautiful woman.' Isla gushed. It was so nice to see them. I couldn't stop praising them on how well Dan had done. He was turning crimson and muttering at me to stop.

'Well, he has you to thank I guess.' Rod smiled and took his son under his arm, embarrassing him even more.

'Me? How?'

'You were the one that told him he could sing.'

'Dad.' He warned. I couldn't help but laugh.

'We're ever so sorry about Gran, she was an amazing woman. But we are glad you two have reconnected. I know I've missed having you around.' Rod told me sincerely. Dan nodded and flashed me a small smile.

There was no wake afterwards. We all left the church and went separate ways. I had a train to catch. I very much wanted to stay with the Smiths and catch up with them, but I feared that I was treading on their toes a little. I kissed them both goodbye and thanked them for their help and for coming to see Gran off.

'Any word on the will yet?' Dan asked tentatively as we watched them drive away.

'I'm going tomorrow to sort it out. I needed to get this out the way before opening up a can of worms.' I sighed. In a way, I didn't really want to find out anymore of my life was a lie at that moment.

'Do you want me to come with you?' He asked.

'Nah I can do it alone.' No I couldn't. I just didn't want to ask anything else from him. Yet, he could still read my mind.

'You want me to come with you? It's no bother.' He asked again.

'Yes please.' I smiled.

'Cool, well text me when and where and I'll see you there.'

'Thank you.' I hugged him and watched him drive off. He had wanted to drive me home but he was due in a meeting in a hour. I didn't mind in the slightest. I'd arrived fine, I'd get home fine. I had gone this long without his help and I was sure I could cope without. But it felt nice to know he was there. It was such an odd feeling. I hadn't relied on anyone, having lived away from home from sixteen years old, apart from the occasional advice from Gran or Olivia. But this week had been one of the toughest and maybe I did need that little bit of support.

As promised, he was waiting outside the south London solicitors as I arrived the next day. I had barely slept. I'd been tempted to open the weighty envelope that held the answers to my entire life. But it remained intact only because I was too scared to do it alone.

We sat in the office of the female solicitor, a young lady by the name of Melanie Howard, that would be taking care of transferring any money and deeds to whoever Gran had named. I had no idea what could happen. I'd be stupid to assume I would be entitled to everything. If we weren't related I wouldn't be receiving a penny, surely? Dan must've felt my fear. He gave my shoulder a rub as the envelope was opened in front of us.

'You'll be fine.' He told me. I couldn't reply. If I opened my mouth, I might throw up.

'This is the last Will and Testament of Betty Jane Taylor. In the event of my death, it is my final wish that all monies, properties, deeds and titles be handed down to my one daughter, Grace Taylor.' Melanie looked to me for confirmation that I was the one named. I nodded. And now more confused. Daughter? Though I didn't look at him I knew Dan was glancing at me from the corner of his eye, trying to judge my reaction. The money didn't matter. The truth did. 'Enclosed is a letter to Grace Taylor detailing any questions she might have about her upbringing.' From the envelope was pulled out what seemed to be a copy of the adoption papers and a hand written letter.

It was slid across the table to me. Melanie excused herself to get some forms and allowing me time to read it, incase it contained anymore instructions. I sighed heavily.

'You ok?' Dan asked me after a moment. I couldn't take my eyes off the sealed letter.

'I don't know if I can...' I managed to speak, but only in a whisper. I could feel my heart pounding. Once I opened that envelope, everything I'd ever known would be different. Nothing would be the same. 'Danny?' I looked to him for an answer. But he couldn't help me. What he did do next spoke a thousand words. He took the letter, opened it and read it out loud.

'Gracey. I can only hope my passing hasn't bought you too much pain. I also hope I did right by you and you can look back at the life we shared with happiness and joy in your heart, as I know I did. I loved you with my whole heart and I will have left this world knowing I was blessed with the most beautiful, clever, caring young woman.' Dan paused and looked up at me. The tears had already began to flow. I took in a deep breath to compose myself and nodded for him to continue.

'There are a few things I need to tell you now. And please know that I only kept these truths from you to protect you and save you from any pain. I did it with love in my heart.

I was a foster carer. I had done it for thirty years and I was about to retire when you arrived at my house, so small and skinny and scared, I swore I'd never let you go into the care system. Out of all the children I'd ever looked after, you were the special one. I had to fight for you. They were going to send you back to your mother and I couldn't let that happen when you were so settled, so happy, you were in school, doing well, you had your best friend and I couldn't let you lose all that. I spent all my savings and lost a lot of sleep, but after months, I got you. It probably seems like no consolation now, but I was never lumbered with you. I chose you. And I hope that comes as some relief. You may not have been my Granddaughter by blood but you were my daughter by choice.' Dan turned over the page but that was all.

I sat in silence for a minute and let it sink in. Though the blow had been somewhat lessened by finding the adoption papers earlier that week, it hurt no less. It answered why there had been no photos of my mum. No stories. Why she had never spoken about her. Because Gran hadn't known her. She had taken me in on a temporary basis and ended up keeping me. I wasn't sure if I felt the relief she'd written about. I didn't know what I felt.

I thanked Dan for not asking if I was ok. That would've turned me into a sobbing mess. He sat there quietly as my mind ticked over. One question did crop up more than any other.

'What if.... What if they're still alive? My parents?' I dared to wonder.

'I don't think that's a good thing to think about.' He had concern etched on his face.

'Why not? It's been twenty years. They could have sorted themselves out. They might have been looking for me all this time...the letter said my mum had wanted me back...'

'I really don't think this is a good idea.'

'But what have I got to lose? I could have sisters and brothers and a whole family out there. Maybe I'm not alone? Danny, we have to find them.'