Bad Blood

32.

I'd boxed up anything that belonged to him and sent Olivia round with it. All his shirts, DVDs, the mug he drank his tea from. Not a single day passed that I didn't think I'd made the wrong decision. But no sooner had the thought gone through my mind that I remembered what he'd done. It was for the best.

My leg healed but my heart didn't. I hadn't imagined how bad it would be. It was a hundred times worse than the last time I'd said goodbye to him. I would never ever put myself through such feelings again. I tried to lock it all away but the nightmares had returned. I was back to not sleeping and being exhausted during the day.

Christmas came and I spent it alone. I had no Gran to spend it with. Olivia was with Woody. I had no one. It was the lowest point of my life. Not even jetting off to Hollywood could lift my spirits. I'd once found such joy in writing but all the fun had been taken out of it because I was working from home, alone. I was in a dark place with no light at the end of the tunnel. No boyfriend, no family and a job that I no longer enjoyed.

New Year's Eve I had spent, of course, alone. I'd thrown away the calendars and promised myself next year would be better. I would go for another presenting job. I would take up a new hobby. I'd go on holiday. I'd start eating healthier. But for that night, I got myself hammered drunk and passed out in the kitchen.

I woke up to a text message on my phone. I'd fully expected it to be from Olivia. And though I had deleted Dan from my phone, I recognized the number straight away.

'I found them.' Was all it said. I was confused. I had vowed to never respond to any of his contact, but I was curious.

'Who'

'Your parents.'

I didn't know what to do. I stared at my phone for an hour. Thinking. Did I want this? Did I want to meet them? I had given up on finding them long ago. My parents. My actual blood parents. I didn't have to be alone anymore.

'Are you ok?' Dan had sent another text.

'Do you have an address?'

'Yeah. I'd like to take you there. If that's ok?'

I did need him right then. I could not go and meet my Mum and Dad without him. He was the only other person in the world who understood what this meant.

'Yes please.'

'Do you want a few days to get your head around it?'

'No. Let's go now. Thank you.'

How had he found them? Everything linking us together had been destroyed or lost. He must've hired an expensive family detective. I hoped he'd done that before we broke up and not afterwards. I was nervous. I hadn't seen him in over a month. I never thought I'd see him again and especially not this soon.

I was already stood on the street outside my house when he pulled up in his car. I got in, hands shaking and unsure what to say. He was sporting a fair length beard and seemed skinnier despite the Christmas break. Even his eyes seemed different. Lost. As lost as I felt.

'Have a good Christmas?' He asked me after a few moments. I shrugged. I didn't want to say I'd spent it alone.

'Had a quiet one.' He knew I had no one else. 'You?'

'Went to my Mums.' Everything felt so awkward. I was overly aware of every breath and every move I made. Time was dragging by painfully slowly as we drove around the quiet New Year's Day streets of London.

'Where are we going?' I asked. He pointed to the sat nav on his dashboard and then handed me a piece of paper with two names on. My parents names. I had so many questions I wanted to ask but instead I remained silent. I spent most of the journey staring out the window, occasionally glancing out the corner of my eye at Dan. I couldn't get over how unwell he looked. I wasn't sure if that made me glad or not.

What would I say to my parents? Did they know they'd been found? I hoped they weren't angry at me. What if, after they'd lost me, they had been glad and never expected me on their doorstep? But what if they had been looking for me too? I wondered what they looked like. Was Mum brunette too? Did I have my Dads eyes? Were they together? Lucy and Stephen Jacobs. My parents. I finally had names for them and soon I would have faces too.

After almost an hour of driving, we stopped when the sat nav told us. I glanced past the railings at the church yard cemetery. I doubled checked the address and felt my heart drop.

'Did you know?' I whispered. He nodded. 'Nothings changed. They were dead anyway.' I said quietly. I got out and he followed. I was glad he did. I let myself in through the gate and wandered through the lines of tombstones. The grass was sparkling with mildew, wetting my shoes. After a couple of minutes of searching, I found what I was looking for.

I crouched down and read my mothers name out loud. I traced the date on the cold stone with my fingers. February 2001. She had died as Gran had told me. And below her name, my father. Some four years ago. I didn't know what to feel. I'd never had them. So I hadn't lost them. Nothing had changed. But now I knew.

'Gracey.' He placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed, standing tall behind me. I put my hand over his and rubbed the skin with my thumb.

'Thank you.' I whispered. I meant it. Now I could close that door and stop wondering.

'There is one more thing though...'

'Oh god, what?' I sighed. I couldn't take any more bad news.

'See that lady over there? With the two kids?' He pointed across to the church building, next to the trees, was a young brunette woman, two toddlers either side of her, a girl and a boy. I hadn't noticed her before.

'Yeah?'

'Thats your sister.'

'My...my sister?'

'Thats Jasmine, she's twenty four, she lives in Kent. That's Max and Willow, her children. She was adopted at birth and grew up not knowing about her past or you. She wants to meet you.'

'I...' My mouth was wide in shock. In a matter of seconds I'd gone from hopelessness to having a sister. And nieces and nephews. I had a family. A real one. I got up from the ground and fell into Dans arms, sobbing.

'Are you happy?' He asked with a slight chuckle.

'I don't know.' I laughed and wiped the tears away. He was smiling down at me, his blue eyes sparkling.

'She'd like to meet you.' I couldn't believe it. It had always been a dream that I had siblings out there, somewhere. And she was right there.

'What do I say to her?' I asked him. I'd never got as far as thinking what I'd talk to my dream sister about.

'Hi, I'm Grace, your long lost sister. How's it going?' He suggested. I began laughing. This was so surreal. 'Come on.' He put an arm around my shoulder and walked with me towards her. As we drew closer I could see how pretty she was. She wasn't too dissimilar to me, just a younger, more beautiful version. And two of the most adorable children I'd ever seen. She gave me a small shy wave.

'Hey.' I responded once we were in talking distance.

'Kids, this is Grace, your mummies sister.' She even sounded like me. There was a moment where we all just looked at one another, unsure what to say. But I was overcome with a massive urge to hug her. And I did. I threw my arms around her slender shoulders and burst into tears.

'I'm so glad I found you.' She whispered. She was crying too. We both laughed when we realized. My cheeks began to ache from smiling at her so much. I turned to Dan, who was stood with the two children, all looking bemused. I was lost for words. What an amazing start to the year.