Bad Blood

26.

It was one of those summers where every single day was blisteringly hot. There had been no rain in months and barely a gust of wind to take the edge off. My house became a sweat box. I couldn't remember another like it. Not that I was complaining. Or not a lot anyway. I was enjoying some much needed time off writing, having handed in my notice at the company I worked for. That had been a fantastic day, handing Angie my resignation with a grin. I was now working from home and had a regular spot in a top film magazine. There had even been talks with the BBC. Things were looking good.

Dan was home a lot more, thankfully. We had plodded along together nicely. Some nights I stayed at his and we had mad house parties with a lot of alcohol. Some nights we'd spend at mine enjoying romantic times. And when we could we went on dates to the cinema or for food. I couldn't believe how three months down the line that those initial feelings had yet to fade. I felt as happy as I had done. And dare I say it, in love. This burning, sickening feeling in my stomach was pure desire for him.

The only thing that had yet come together was finding my real parents. The registry of births and deaths had no trace of my real birth certificate. There had been a fire in the adoption agency and everything was lost. Every corner I turned I was met with a dead end. Without that critical information, there wasn't much else we could do to trace her.

'Maybe it's just not meant to be?' Dan offered his best advice, but it didn't stop me feeling deflated. He'd been right all along. He had warned me not get my hopes up. All I wanted was to meet them and ask them why. Why hadn't they fought harder for me? My mum had been an alcoholic, so did that mean drink was more important to her than I was? I promised myself that if I ever did have my own children, I would never put them through what I had experienced.

The highlight of the year was our 28th birthday. Unbeknownst to me, he had planned a trip away to Rome. He had literally dragged me out of bed, blind folded me and driven us to the airport. The whole while I had protested and demanded he turn the car around or I would never speak to him again.

'I've not even packed a bag. What am I supposed to wear?'

'I packed your bag.'

'What about my straighteners and my shampoo?'

'Packed.'

'Clean underwear and bras?'

'Packed.'

'You went through my underwear like some seedy pervert?'

'Yep.'

I spent the whole flight with my arms crossed and not talking to him. I didn't like surprises. Not when I'd planned on staying home and getting very drunk, trying to forget that I was closer to 30.

But the moment we saw the city and the amazing hotel we'd be staying in for three days, I found it hard to hide my smile. It was beautiful.

'Happier now?' He grinned.

'Yes.' I admitted grudgingly. He placed a kiss on my head and wrapped his arms around me. I couldn't stay cross at him when he flashed me that smile. And it was a wonderful weekend away. We saw all the old parts of the city and the colosseum and the forum. I had been here before with work but I'd never had a chance to enjoy it. It was nice to have uninterrupted time with him. No work for either of us, no phonecalls, no emails. Just us.

We landed with a bump home and he had to leave again as he was playing a festival in Scotland that night before flying back to America in the morning. He must've been exhausted from constantly traveling. Rome was the first actual holiday he'd had in five years.

'Come to Scotland.' He told me as he walked me to the front door with my bags.

'I cant.' I said with a sign. I wished I could. But I'd been off long enough, I had to get back to work.

'I know what we can do.' He sat back down besides me and caressed my bare shoulder. 'Why don't you become a music journalist and follow us around?' At first thought I was keen to shoot down his idea. I hadn't the faintest clue about music apart from what was in the radio. I had worked for years to create a name for myself in the film industry. But the idea of being able to see my Danny every day was overpowering.

'Its a great idea.'

'But?'

'But I am so close to making it, Dan. I've been working my ass off for nearly twelve years and some review shows on tv have starting taking an interest in me.' I hadn't told him this before because it felt almost silly to hope. But since I'd been with him, the gained confidence in my writing and interviewing must've been showing through. The BBC had asked me to go in for a screen test. I hadn't dared to dream that I could have both Dan and my dream job. He seemed over the moon at my news. I felt somewhat crushed and stuck. What did I actually want?

'Go for the job.' He must've noticed my distracted gaze as I thought about my options.

'I should.'

'You should.'

'But I miss you when you're away.'

'Me too, but,' he held my hand. 'We've got years ahead of us. My band won't last forever. One day you'll be sick of me, don't worry.'

'Never.' I told him with a kiss. I waved him off. I didn't know when I'd see him again. Almost instantly I regretted saying no to going to Scotland. I could put off work for another twenty four hours. I threw my dirty washing into the laundry basket, repacked my bag with clean clothes and ran from the house. I ran down the road and the ten minutes to Dans place. His car was still parked. Good.

I stood outside and waited for him. I knew he was doing a quick change of clothes before driving to Kyle's place to be picked up in the tour bus. Two could play at this surprise game.

I loved the look on his face as he stumbled out the house and caught my eye, carrying bags and trying to lock the door all at once.

'I knew you'd change your mind.' He beamed.

We arrived at Kyles last, the boys all ready to go. And much to my surprise, my ex housemate was stood with them.

'Olivia!' I screamed. We hugged and exchanged gossip and what we'd been up to. I couldn't pretend I wasn't shocked. Did this mean she and Woody were now open about their relationship? I knew he'd moved in with her but I was unsure if Kyle and Will knew the back story. Dan was forgotten as we boarded the mini tour bus and sat at the back together. The five hour drive would now be even more fun.

The festival was amazing. The organizers had set up a small camp of tents in the VIP artist area behind the stage and we had four reserved. Each were stocked with air beds, soft pillows and thick sleeping bags. We dumped our bags and went backstage. The band were only performing a small half an hour set and the rest of the night we got to watch the show and drink many beers. It was rare that I got to hang out with Dan and his bandmates. I loved them all. Dan had chosen wisely.

We got back to the tent around three am, long after the music had stopped, after taking an hour to find it. It was dark and we were incredibly drunk. If it wasn't for Dan half carrying me, I would've happily slept on the mud by the private bar tent. I didn't even get inside my sleeping bag, I just passed out on top of it.

I woke up, my head pounding, to something irritating my nose. I brushed it off but it returned. When I flicked it away again I heard Dans chuckle. I opened my eyes and he was inches from my face, his finger tickling my nose.

'Fuck off' I groaned and shut my eyes again.

'My flights going soon. The bus is gonna take you and Olivia home.' I murmured an 'ok'. I wasn't moving from this tent any time soon. I had an awful hangover. I heard Dan open the zip of the tent and throw his bag outside. 'Bye Gracey.'

'Bye.' I said, waving him off but not moving my head. He laughed again and leaned over me to kiss my lips.

'I'll ring you later. Hope you feel better soon, little miss hangover.' I groaned again in reply. I didn't want to say a proper goodbye because it was always too hard. I was just going to ignore it and pretend it wasn't happening. He was going away for another month. And I was dreading it.