Bad Blood

38.

I didn't know what to do. The police wouldn't tell me anything. I had no idea how they'd found out what he'd done or exactly who's murder he'd been arrested for. I was beside myself with fear. If they found him guilty, then he wouldn't be here for the boys birth or their childhood. I couldn't do this without him. And worse still, if everything came out, then the whole world would know what had happened and that Dan was a murderer.

'Dans been arrested.' I sobbed down the phone to Olivia.

'What?! Why?! Woody just got a phonecall from management saying something's happened. What's going on?'

'They're saying he's killed someone.'

'What the hell?! Grace, are you ok?'

'No...I don't know what to do.'

'Who? Who's he killed? Did he do it?'

'I don't know...I can't do this...' My hand was gripping my stomach. The babies did not deserve this stress.

'We're coming over right now.' She told me and hung up. I paced the house, around and around, picking things up and putting down back down. I couldn't stop moving. Both babies were furiously dancing in my stomach. I needed to talk to him. I prayed he didn't say anything to the police. We could get out of this. Did they even have proof? Until I knew who he'd been accused of murdering, I didn't know how to get him out of it. And I had to do this while lying to Olivia and Woody too.

I found myself in the nursery. Dan had finished painting it and had begun putting the cots together. Screws and nails littered the carpet, packaging and styrofoam covered the floor. I looked at the box of teddies waiting to be put on shelves. Would Dan even be here to put our children to bed? I sank to the ground clutching a blue blanket.

Some time later I felt arms wrap around me.

'Oh sweetie.' Olivia whispered.

'Just when things were going well.' I sobbed. I'd been too happy. I should've seen this coming. We had been living on borrowed time. How could I not have expected this? Of course the police were going to catch him at some point but it had never crossed my mind.

Woody was holding a giggling Ellie, himself looking as shell shocked as I felt.

'Did he do it?' He asked me right out. I shook my head. I had to hold on to this lie. It would do no one any favours to tell the truth.

At the police station, I was met by the same silence. They wouldn't talk about his arrest until formal charges or bail was set. Dan would be going up in court in the morning to face the charges and until then I wasn't allowed to see him. Even when I pleaded that I was six months pregnant with twins and terrified.

As soon as his other bandmates Kyle and Will found out, they were over at ours in a heartbeat. His parents were ringing but I couldn't answer to tell them, so Woody did. The main thing everyone had to say was that it was a mistake.

'Of course he hasn't killed anyone! He couldn't kill a fly!' I wanted to tell them they were half right. I felt so trapped. When Dan and I had fallen out because of what he'd done, I had wanted to go to the police. I had been appalled by it. How could my Danny have taken not one life, but three? And then after it had sunk in and he'd explained why he'd done, I understood. But we couldn't go telling a jury that. Murder was murder and if they had evidence, then no amount of reasoning would overturn a conviction.

I was incredibly grateful for Dans friends and Olivia staying up with me all night. There was no way I could've slept. The telly was on but no one was watching. Each of us were just staring past the walls, imagining the horror of Dan being found guilty. And what about when the press found out? Which was more than likely going to be by the morning papers. The babies had eventually calmed down and ceased their fidgeting. I'd stroked my stomach all night, promising them silently that everything was going to be ok. We'd get Daddy home soon.