Bad Blood

22.

The house I'd found just happened to be in the same area as Dans, in Bethnal Green. It cut down my commute by half. And because I had the cash upfront, it was only weeks before I'd packed up my things from the flat and began moving in. It was a three story town house, three bedrooms and an extra attic room that was to become my office. I could now start thinking about setting up my own business. It had been hard saying goodbye to Olivia, but I promised we would meet up whenever we could. And it wasn't like we wouldn't meet when her boyfriend and my best friend were in a band together.

I was in my new, quaint country style kitchen when I heard a knock at the door.

'Hey neighbourooni.' Dan shouted from the front hall, having let himself in. I guess I had that to look forward to, his unannounced visits. I was just unpacking the last of the mugs. I hadn't realised he would be home from Manchester so soon. He'd been away all week but had offered to come help me when he got back. I'd already moved all of my things and had the lovely task of de-boxing and finding places for everything. He was stood at the kitchen door, arms crossed, surveying the crumpled up newspaper mountain that had protected my belongings in the moving van. His face was sporting a rather rugged display of stubble.

'You've got a beard.' I said. He grinned and stroked it.

'Like it?'

'You look great.' I climbed over the box terrain and wrapped my arms around him. It had been a long week of not seeing him. And the longest we'd not seen each other since the whole midnight car confession. He smelt good. Why was it when I saw him I wanted to squeal and jump on him? I was doing my best to act cool when inside I felt like an excited teenager.

'Need a hand?'

'If you can find the kettle, you could make a brew. Anyway, why are you here?'

'Got bumped to an earlier train. Thought I'd come help.'

'Help.' I blurted a laugh.

'Oi.' He threw a balled up piece of newspaper at me.

We got on with unpacking and catching up with what Dan had been doing. They'd been filming a new video and rehearsing for a tour. I was insanely jealous. Life on the road sounded like so much fun. Much better than being tied to the office and household chores. I'd done my best to keep my mouth shut about Olivia and Woody, but it seemed that he couldn't do the same.

'So I have some gossip.' He shouted from the bathroom.

'Yeah?' I called back from one of the spare rooms.

'Woody is seeing someone new.'

'I thought he was with Chrissy?' I played dumb.

'Well he cheated on her.'

'What? That's horrible.' I cringed to myself.

'Yeah, well he's moving in with her.'

'Right?' I wondered where he was going with this. I hoped to God this wasn't his way of hinting we did the same. Though we had spoken about where our relationship was going, we'd yet to even kiss. We'd not even held hands. We'd just done normal friend things. Pub, cinema, dinner. But then actually when I thought about it, they were quite coupley things to do.

'You know all this don't you?' He appeared at the door and glared at me. I couldn't lie to him. My smile gave me away. 'Gracey!'

'I was sworn to secrecy! And I bet you were too!'

'Yeah but if we both knew anyway then it's ok.' He laughed. He looked around the room and at the dismantled bed. 'Not planning on building that?' I had slept the night before at Olivia's, but I hadn't admitted to her that it was because I was scared. Id lied and said I'd lost the screws so would stay at hers until they arrived from eBay. I'd been so settled in the flat and the idea of living totally alone hadn't really crossed my mind until I'd stood among the boxes in my new home and it had come crashing down on me. The only time I'd ever slept in a house alone was the few nights in the bedsit after I'd fled my hometown. And they were terrifying. I never wanted to feel that way again.

'At some point.' I shrugged. I could see him regarding me. Did he know what I was up to?

'Come on.' He urged me and dived right into building. After a moment of watching him, I gave in and helped. I'd have to sleep here at some point.

We put the bed together, eventually, after accidentally putting the slats in back to front. We'd giggled most of the way through. Even when he had dropped the middle beam right onto my foot. And once it was all made up and cosy, I jumped onto it and sighed heavily. Moving house was tough work. Dan lay beside me and we looked up at the ceiling. I held my hands out in the space above me. Dan did the same and took my hand in his. My heart began to race.

'Do you want me to stay here tonight?' He asked, turning his head to me. I didn't meet his gaze. He knew. 'Its ok to be scared you know.' I took a deep breath in and nodded. Sometimes it was like he could read me better than I could read myself. He dived up and dragged me with him. 'Lets get something for dinner and a few drinks.'

He drove us down the road to Tesco, pointing out loads of places I should go. There were loads of nice little delis, bakeries, wine bars and antique book shops. And then pointing out that I should learn to drive.

'I don't need to, I have you to chauffeur me about.' I stuck my tongue out at him. Driving had never interested me. The idea of me being in charge of a fast hunk of metal was scary. I had two legs and an Oyster card anyway.

The first meal I cooked in my new home was pizza. We ate and drank wine as we continued to unpack. I hadn't realised how much stuff I had and how it had possibly fit in that tiny two bed flat. It was midnight by the time we'd finished and the last box was crushed and put in the bin. The final picture, of us, was hung in the living room, the candles arranged in the empty log burner and a vase of fake flowers sat by the telly. We slumped down with satisfied sighs onto the brand new corner sofa I'd bought.

'Don't move house ever again.' Dan said.

'Yeah, I won't.' I yawned. I was exhausted. I curled my feet up under me, laid my head on Dans lap and closed my eyes. He began stroking my hair and I found it almost impossible to fight sleep.

'Lets go to bed.' He whispered. I heard him finish his glass and put it on the coffee table. He stood up, taking me in his arms and carrying me up the stairs. I chuckled and locked my arms around his neck. So carefully he placed me down on my bed, swinging my legs under the duvet and tucking me in. He sat by me and I could feel his eyes on me. I pulled my arm out from under the covers and held his.

'Stay.' I whispered. He got in beside me and I put my arm across his stomach and rested my head on his chest. I could hear his heart pounding, just as fast as mine was. I was so happy right then. And so incredibly comfortable. I felt like when I was with him I could just be myself, I didn't have any fears and I trusted him completely. I had been wanting to kiss him all night as he'd been humming to himself as he arranged the clothes in my cupboards and filled up my bookshelves. And though it was terrifying, it felt like now was the moment.

I lifted my head up, propping my elbows on his chest. It was dark but I could just see his face bathed in the glow of the street lights outside. He smiled and put his hand up, just slightly brushing the hair from my face. My heart was now going at a million miles an hour when I closed my eyes and placed a kiss on his lips. But not just for a moment like we had done before. I stayed there, tasting him and feeling his hot breath on my face. I felt my whole body turn to jelly. It was equally scary and amazing. Scary that now we had done this, things would change. But amazing, because now things would change. I'd never wanted a boyfriend or to be with anyone. But with Dan it just felt so right.