Bad Blood

10.

I'd been so busy at work over recent months that I hadn't managed to get to Granny's house as often as normal. I missed her so much. I wished I lived nearer and worked less. And I knew it was selfish, but I needed to work so I could afford to live. Each weekend I had so much work to catch up with that there just wasn't enough time to take the hour long train to hers. I missed our Sunday lunch. I missed her warmth. Even though I rang her every night, it just wasn't the same as seeing her twinkling eyes.

'It's fine sweetie, I know you're a busy lady. Maybe one day I'll come see you?' She would suggest but we both knew she couldn't have made it on a train on her own.

I'd been busy working one Monday, as always, the mountain of papers as high as always on my desk, when my phone rang with an unknown number. Ever since the whole Dan thing I had made a point of not answering numbers I didn't recognize, just in case. But after three more attempts, I figured it must be something important.

'Is this Grace Taylor? Granddaughter of Betty Taylor?' The use of Grans real name threw me off guard.

'What? Yes, that's me. What's...?' I felt my heart sink. Instantly, the alarm bells were ringing in my head.

'I'm Betty's MacMillan nurse at Wimbledon General. Betty has been brought into our hospital today because her neurophil blood count is incredibly low. We've admitted her to the oncology ward for a blood transfusion but it does mean unfortunately we won't be giving her chemotherapy this week.' Well obviously there had to be a mistake. Gran wouldn't be having chemo.

'Oh I think you've got the wrong person.' I laughed it off.

'Betty Taylor, date of birth 12/12/1939.' That was indeed her birthday.

'Yes that's her but she's not having chemo or...' Even I sounded unconvinced. Was she? She would've told me. I'm sure she would've. Right...?

'She was diagnosed with lymphatic cancer eighteen months ago.' The nurse said gently.

'But no, cos she would've told me. She would've told me.' I kept repeating. I didn't understand. Why wouldn't she tell me? I was in too much shock to cry once I'd hung up the phone. I stared at the handset, now black, my own reflection showing up in it. What was I supposed to do now?

I left work without telling anyone, I just needed to get to the hospital. That train journey was horrendous. With every breath I took, it felt as though my heart could shatter. It took all my energy not to explode. I didn't know what to do. Gran wasn't answering her phone. I tried to search back in my mind, she hadn't looked ill the last time I'd seen her, a few weeks ago. She had been getting older for a long time but nothing drastically obvious.

I ran the two miles from the train station to the hospital, not stopping once, dodging cars and ignoring red lights. Even when I arrived at the main entrance, I glanced at the directions board and hit the stairs at full speed. I went to the ward with 'oncology' in huge writing above the door. This was all going to be a mix up, I was certain. Even when I gave Grans name to the nurse on the desk and she led me towards a bed, I was sure it was a mistake.

Even when I saw Gran lying there, pale and asleep, I knew it was a clerical error and she's just ended up on the wrong ward.

But when she opened her eyes and smiled sadly at me, I knew.

'Granny.' I wailed and put my head to her chest, hugging her tightly. Her fingers ran through my hair as she gently shushed me.

'Oh Gracey I am so sorry. I wanted to tell you. But you were so happy and settled, I didn't want to bother you.'

'Bother me? Never. I would've been here for you. I'm gonna be here for you.' I tried to stifle the laugh that had escaped my lips. Typical Gran not wanting to cause a fuss.