Depression Journal

Depression symptoms and which ones i have

(These are from the page is you search "symptoms of depression" and I copied them)

People may experience:
Mood: anxiety, apathy, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, mood swings, or sadness
Sleep: early awakening, excess sleepiness, insomnia, or restless sleep
Whole body: excessive hunger, fatigue, loss of appetite, or restlessness
Behavioral: agitation, excessive crying, irritability, or social isolation
Cognitive: lack of concentration, slowness in activity, or thoughts of suicide
Weight: weight gain or weight loss
Also common: poor appetite or repeatedly going over thoughts

Anxiety - heck yeah
Apathy - yeeeeeeep
General discontent - I mean yeah I'm not content
Guilt - only after self harm
Hopelessness - yeaaaaah boi
Loss of interest (blah blah blah) - yeah I had multiple hobbies that I can't seem to do currently and I'm not interested in many things I have to do
Mood swings - most of the time
Sadness - this one is weird because I wake up sad, but at school I'm not until 6th period usually (when I usually have to show my self harm(but not anymore because I GOT OFF OF GYM FOR 2 MONTHS YEAAAH))
Early awakening - most nights
Excess sleepiness - I told my friends half an hour ago how I'm always really tired during the day but when it's time to go to sleep I can't (like now it's 11:02 pm and I have to wake up at 6:45(but I usually wake up at 6:20 because of the last symptom) and I'm supposed to get 9 hours of sleep)
Insomnia - rarely
Restless sleep - rarely
Excessive hunger + loss of appetite - these usually come together, I will be really hungry, and then less than a day later I will not be hungry at all, but that only happens sometimes
Fatigue - yeaaaa this is similar to excess sleepiness
Restlessness - no, not really except when I get "fake high" and go crazy for an hour
Agitation- yes all the timeeeee
Excessive crying - I try really hard not to cry but sometimes I do but it's not insane, most of the time I cry because of lights or I tell myself not to but then I do
Irritability - yessss similar to agitation
Social isolation - sometimes, sometimes all of my friends are texting and I ignore them and sit there thinking about how lonely I am, or I will be at school and really want to go lay down in the corner by myself, but then I would have to explain myself and anxiety
Lack of concentration - sometimes, once I couldn't concentrate at all on the assignment, it took me 40 minutes to read and highlight 1 paragraph
Slowness in activity - not really
Thoughts of suicide - YEA ALL DAY EVERY DAY
Weight gain/loss - well I think I've gained weight but that might just be my depression telling me that I'm fat and ugly
Poor appetite - wait wasn't this already one
Repeatedly going over thoughts - only when I can't concentrate or I am really nervous.

Yay. Now you can see why I'm almost positive that I am depressed. The one thing they didn't mention that is sometimes involved with depression is
Self harm - YEA JUST WROTE ONE PASSAGE AND HAD TO STOP TO SELF HARM IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING
Woah this entry is longgggggg
Haha my mom just came in and told me to go to sleep
Nooooo it's only 11:12 I'm usually up way later than this YOU JUST DONT NOTICEEEEE
Fun fact (I always tell my friends "fun fact" and then something related to my depression (kind of like hoping they will catch on)) I'm stressed because we are taking a big exam tomorrow 1-3 period but it's not even a grade why am I so stressed.