I'm crying I just realized I was in an abusive friendship with one of my friends who I've known for 7 years. I found an image on instagram about how no one ever talks about abusive friendships and it said all of the signs and I realized that it was abusive. I always thought it wasn't a good friendship but I never thought it was abusive.
She literally made all of my best friends stop hanging out with me because she forced me to hang out with her and they were smart enough to stop hanging out with her.
She wouldn't let me have other friends besides her, like in 5th grade (I'm in 7th grade) we were in different classes and she absolutely hated my other friends and multiple times we told her that I didn't want to hang out with her anymore but she still kept coming back to me.
The funny thing about that is she always bring up the times I excluded her, and I always say in my mind, "you don't want to be friends with some people (cough cough, my other friends) so why can't we not want to hang out with you?" But I never said anything because I knew if I did she would get mad at me and yell and cry.
Whenever she asks me to hang out I say no, but then I end up going out with other friends. She texts me and I ignore her. I just don't want to talk to her at all. She isn't a good friend.
She always complains about how no one wants to be friends with her but then when I talk about how I failed my math test she says "well I failed all of my tests" and basically goes around with the mindset that she is the only person with problems and she is the most neglected person in the world.
She also picked on other kids. She would purposefully jump on their toes or "accidentally" push them into a wall. I was never a victim of this but it was just, very upsetting to only have one friend who gets joy out of hurting other people.
I feel so bad for her though she was always the lonely one at school (because she hurt other people and no one wanted her to hurt them) and I was one of her only friends. Also all of my friends currently who are also friends with her agree that they would rather not be good friends with her, so if we all push her out of our lives, she would have barely any friends and I don't want that to happen to anyone.
So a summary,
I'm in an abusive friendship and if I leave it she will most likely kill herself.
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Depression Journal
RandomA journal of a 13 year old girl who is depressed, has anxiety problems, is suicidal, and self harms. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK Just remember, hate comments or anything that may suggest that I either don't have it too bad, or basically anything negative...
