(Die)ry.

Be careful what you wish for.

  "Do you ever get tired of pretending?"

My best friend asked me this four hours ago and I lied to him. I told him I quit pretending a long time ago, but that wasn't true. I actually told that lie to cover up what I pretend. I pretend things don't bother me and that I'm tougher than I really am. I pretend that I'm confident in what I say and what I do. I pretend that what others say to me don't bother me. I pretend that what others do to me don't leave any kind of faint scar. I took four years of drama and even without that I've always found myself to be a pretty good actor. I pretend better than anyone I know. I put on a persona of someone who is confident and brave and a leader...but I am not that person at all. I'm not my character, although I desperately wish I was. I wanted to be an actor when I grew up. I watched every movie I could get my hands on; behind the scenes included. I took theatre in high school and spent every waking moment trying my best to fit in with the people I called my peers; my equals. I had wished that I could wake every day, put on a costume, rehearse my lines, and play a part that nobody else could play better.
And it came true.