Dealing with life!

Releasing the anger

So Right now, I'm just a bit angry but not as much as before.
So I had to pick my brother up from his surf life saving he does. So I had to leave at 2. That's what I got told when I woke up at 1 anyway. So I started getting ready at quarter to two so I could be ready for 2. Then I was ready 5 two and I went out into the lounge and mum said "are you going you better hurry up". So I left cuz apparently I had to be there for 2. So I went to leave and my sister said can I come and I said whatever. I didn't care but now I regret that decision as she made this situation worse. I drove up there and of course my sister had to choose the music. So she started skipping through the songs and I just said pick one and leave it and so she picked one which was ok even though it's my car my music and she didn't even have to be in the car and I didn't even like the song she just stopped in it anyway just because she liked it.  the song finished she kept skipping once again over all the good songs and it was so annoying so I had a go at her and said let me pick a song it's my car and my phone. So she skipped to a song I liked and left it. Then we got there and my brother wasn't coming out and because it's me I was rushing to get there for 2 and it was passed two and he wasn't there so I just sat there for a bit and turned off my car so it didn't go flat. Then I started getting angry as we had sat there for about 10 minutes. I was like I swear if my car goes flat because of this I'm gonna be angry, so I turned the car back on for the air conditioner and my sister says just open the door. I did that for about 2 minutes and it got way too hot and I could feel myself getting burnt, and being ranga like me, that could happen. I then went inside the place and he wasn't there so I went back to car . I started getting even more angry and texted mum as my brother doesn't have a phone and asked where he was. I then started ranting to her about my car and all that and how I was going to leave and said go onto the beach to find him and I was like I'm not going onto the beach no way. So then we sat there for ages and I kept contemplating whether I should leave or not. Then after half an hour of waiting he showed up and I started going off at him and said next time your walking I'm not coming to pick you up. Then he kept saying mum can pick me up then and I said she doesn't want to. I then said my car battery is gonna go flat because I had hw air conditioning on and he said turn it off and I was like so you want me to die. Then I just kept having a go at him. Like think of all the things I could have done in that more than half an hour. So I almost crashed the car on the way home cuz I was so angry and then I went into my room grabbed the glass I kept and the razor I have behind my stuffed bear and started cutting my leg. As soon as I did it I felt the anger release because I wasn't focusing on that. I was focusing on cutting deeper and deeper until I bled. It's like I have never felt more relieved from cutting before and it really helped.

Anyway that's all for today
Stay alive | - /