Dealing with life!

High school

CHAPTER TWO

High school. It was the start of my depression, but before I get to any of that I wanna tell you how my high school experience started.
So when I started high school it was year 8 not year 7 because I'm old. So I was going into year 8 and I was absolutely terrified. When I was in primary school I was always scared to talk to any of the popular kids because I was scared of them. I was scared of what they might think or say if I had the guts to talk to them. Basically, I knew they would judge me. I never talked to anyone apart from friends. It's a bit different now. Sometimes I will start a conversation with someone just to make it less awkward but they won't be one of the popular kids. They are usually the in between, like they aren't nerds or they aren't that popular. Although I'm not a nerd because I'm not in ATAR and I don't read. I'm just... quiet I guess.
It came to the graduation of year 7 and I was not fucking excited. I remember being completely terrified. The part I remember most from that day was when we were all lining up in the line to walk out. I was standing behind one of my crushes. I don't wanna use real names in this so let's just call him Jim. So we had to line up in alphabetical order from our last names and Jim my crush happened to be in front of me. Anyway, we were standing in line waiting to walk out and he started crying and I was in the verge of tears so I started crying. I got pissed at him because he made me cry and I said in a whimper voice "now you made me cry" and started crying even more. I don't know why he was crying, but I was terrified to leave. Any way after that I was fine, I felt emotional, but I was fine.
Then it came to the last day and I was a bit upset but it wasn't that bad I was just happy to be spending my last day with my friends. I also remember being so weird because I had lots of crushes and I had a graduation bear and lots of people signed it including my crushes and I got so happy. At the end of the day I was fine and my mum was there to pick me up and I didn't have to walk home and she asked if I was ok and I ran up to her and started crying.
After the holidays I started year 8 and as I said I was completely terrified. I remember getting to school that day and being with my mum and even though I was embarrassed I didn't want her to leave because I thought I was gonna get my head down the toilet like in the movies or I would get bullied by the older kids about my hair: Don't worry if you guys are going into high school, it won't be like the movies, it's better than that. You will only get bullied by older kids if you do something to them. There is also a lot more drama than there is in primary school. Anyway back to year 8. So year 8 was a good year. Not great, but good. The bell went and we all had to sit on the grass and listen to the principal speaking for ages and he told us what was going on and gave us our timetable for the semester. I remember year 8 as he was int lost a lot and being worried about getting bullied, but that never happened. The bullying part, not the getting lost part, I definitely got lost a few times.
I still get lost every now and then if I'm honest. In this part of my life I say it's good because I'm comparing it to the rest of my life. I made friends in year 8 and that was about the best thing because they were really nice to me and we didn't have any problems. Year 8 was like what it's like for a normal school kid. So the year started off fine when I found friends and I bonded with them really well. At the start of the year I was in something called pathfinders which is basically the class with smart people in it even though I'm not smart. Anyway, so it turned out shit and I found it mostly hard and all the teachers always treated us so shit. They always used to scream at us when we did something wrong and be like "YOU ARE IN PATHFINDERS I WOULD EXPECT BETTER FROM YOU LOT" or something like that it was so mean and sometime they would be like "YOU GUYS SHOULD BE GETTING STRAIGHT A'S, YOUR IN PATHFINDERS" the stress of pathfinders finally got to me after a term and I my mum took me out. I also couldn't understand my science teacher and neither could any one else because she is foreign and has a strong accent. When it got to 2nd term, I met my best friend who is still my friend now. Let's call her Leanne. So I met Leanne when I moved down from pathfinders to the 2nd smartest class. I found it easy after pathfinders but it was still a bit hard but I managed to cope with it. I would hang out with Leanne in class and my friends that I met in pathfinders at recess and lunch. Let's call them Lucy, Joanne and Georgia. So Lucy was he main of the group who I became friends with on orientation day and in cheer dance which is the program I was in. So she's the main one of the group and we all became friends because of her. Anyway, so I would hang out with them during the breaks and Leanna during class. Throughout the year, I bonded lots more with Leanne and we became better friends. We had our little arguments every now and then but we always made up like the next day. Anyway, towards the middle of the year, I started getting more comfortable with the classes I was in and I wasn't finding it that hard, which was really good for me because I wasn't stressed as much as I was in pathfinders. I remember finding it harder to trust the people I was hanging around with, but I didn't know why. I still don't. I think it might have been something to do with seeing other people being hurt by their friends so it made me become more cautious of who I was hanging out with and making sure they were actually friends with me instead of faking it, which does happen a lot in high school if you guys were wondering. I guess I just lost trust with lots of people during that time because of what happened with everyone elses friends. I started to lose trust with Lucy, Joanne and Georgia. I had kind of already not trusted Leanne at this point because we had so many arguments by this point. Anyway, that's enough talking about how bad I am with trust and now lets talk about one of the worst things that happened to me in year 8.

So in year 8, I was in the Cheer-dance program. My mum forced me into the program and I didn't I was gonna get in because I'm not a very good dancer and I also didn't really talk to anyone who was going to the school so I was scared to go to the school that was far away from my friends from primary school. Year 8 was my first year in high school so I didn't really know what to expect. When I got there, everything wasn't that bad, apart from the things that I already explained to you. Around mid-year I heard that a whole heap of girls got suspended. I think it was around 15 girls. At the time I had no idea what was going on. I eventually heard what happened through Cheer-dance because some of the suspended girls were in Cheer-dance. We had a discussion in class about it. It was drugs. The 15 girls were smoking weed in the girls bathroom and I think someone found out and told on them. This was hard for all of us to hear because we had to change around the patterning and everything in dance and we were all dealing with what felt like the loss of those girls because none of us, or at least I didn't, expect for those girls to be the ones smoking pot. A few other girls got suspended that year for smoking as well which was devastating for us because we all thought everyone had learnt there lesson about this, since there were so many girls last time that got suspended. 2 other girls also got suspended that year for being drunk before school. Year 8 was one of the worst years in cheer-dance and our coaches were so disappointed with us.

Now the thing I'm about to talk about is death, so if you are sensitive to this topic then I suggest exiting now. This day was one of the most devastating days ever. I think It was around September so I was ready for the school year to finish. It was a normal day and I had dance third period. So I went to dance and everything was fine. We finished the class and there was an announcement over the PA or whatever you like to call it. It said could all Cheer-dance students report to the theater before the start of fourth period. So me as being a dumb year 8 wasn't expecting much. Everyone starting tuning up at the theater as the bell for fourth period went. Everyone sat down as the principal came in. Some girls were crying and me being a dumb year 8 again just thought It might have been because the year 12's were graduating. Little did I know, my heart was about to break. The principle then said "So Miss Shepherd gave birth to her little boy yesterday." Everyone was happy until "Something went wrong in the birthing and unfortunately she passed away." My heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach and I broke out into tears, just like everyone around me. After around 10 minutes I got myself together and decided if i wanted to go to forth period or not. I decided to go but I had art and I didn't do anything except cry the whole time. There was this girl I was sort of friends with because we would only talk in class, anyway she tried to cheer me up and so did everyone else but that didn't work. I just kept crying and decided to go home after that period. My mum eventually picked me up and I told her the devastating news. She thought the baby has died but when I told her she was like "WOW!" and she kept saying it and I was getting so pissed at her but I didn't say anything. I always think about Miss Shepherd and how happy she would be at this moment if she was raising her little boy because she was so excited when she was pregnant. She would always come into class so excited and talked about the little kicks she would get in her belly all the time and how he was gonna be a rugby player just like his dad. Btw Miss Shepherd is the actual name of my dance teacher in year 8. Although I didn't know her for that long she always lit up all of us Dance girls moods when we got into class and she would always cheer us up when we were down. She has been gone for almost 3 years now and I miss her everyday.

Sorry this was a really long chapter guys. I hope you enjoyed because I took a lot of time to write this chapter and I hope you guys vote on it considering I took so long to write it. I hope I can be doing regular uploads from now on. This chapter also took tears so I really hope you guys enjoy my writing and don't think it's too shit. That's all! I hope for you guys to read my next chapter.