18 | panic attacks

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18 | panic attacks

I'm not going anywhere.

I couldn't be in a worse place right now

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I couldn't be in a worse place right now. I'm running out of the change room, trying to hold back the tears, to move my weak legs, to keep my eyes up and open. The gym bag on my back seems to weigh me down like it's a lot of heavier than it usually is. I can't find Sam, but I run into another body, mumbling an apology, keeping my head down and continuing on. 

Well, I try to. 

"Wait," the person yells after me, and grabs my arm, "are you okay?"

I look up at Tanner, his familiar face and touch making me panic even more. 

I whip my hand back, backing away from him. "I'm fine." 

"We should talk," he comes closer, and my back hits a locker. I can't move. "I've been hearing shit about me again," he mutters, furrowing his brow. "Stuff I didn't do. I hear you're involved. I wanna know what the fuck is going on? What you think I did to you never happened." 

He comes so close that I lose my voice when I whisper, "get away from me," in the empty hallway. 

He slams his hands against the lockers on either side of my head to scare me. 

"Hey!" Someone yells. "Asshole!" 

It's Sam. She rushes over quickly, and I watch her, trying to keep my nerves down. I'm already shaking too much, and my head is stabbing. Sam shoves Tanner's shoulder to get him away from me, but he doesn't move very far. 

"We're having a conversation, Henders, stay out out of it!" Tanner pushes Sam away from me. 

My breath hitches in my throat, and nothing stops Sam from flying her arm at Tanner, smacking him in the face. "Get away from her," she hisses, but when she comes to my side again, Tanner has his arms out and shoves her again, and this time she crashes into the lockers on the other side of the hall. 

I try to gasp, but it hurts to inhale. My chest tightens, my shoulders hunch, and I can't breathe. I slide down the lockers onto the floor, clutching my chest, coughing, trying to get air, and cool tears stream down my face. Tanner looks absolutely terrifying. Sam appears to be okay as she stands back up, but when she sees me, her expression is horrified.

"Avi?" She asks. 

They both turn to me. 

"Avi!" She rushes over, taking my hands in hers. "Avi, what's happening?" 

I try to speak but no words come out. I mouth, 'home', and she clutches to me, lifting me up. 

"Hey, what's wrong with her?" Tanner asks, trying to give Sam a hand. My heart beats faster when he steps closer, reaching out. 

"Stay away from her," Sam hisses, "or you'll regret it!" She half carries me down the hallway with one arm, the other holding her phone up to her ear. "Dammit, Will!" She curses, calling a number again as she takes me out into the parking lot. "Pick up!" 

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