✔︎ | Part of Me (Trilogy)

24 | apologies

(I'm pretty sure I've named the gym teacher 2 different names throughout this book, but he's the same guy, sorry.)

24 | apologies 

Your students love me, Jenkens. Don't you, Aviana?

The first time I see Axel after our couch session yesterday morning is at school, approaching Nicole's locker. At first I don't even recognize her — her hair is short, and she's wearing no makeup, and she looks absolutely exhausted, yet still absolutely beautiful. But I look back, and she greets Axel, tucking her hair behind her ear. The way Axel then leans against the locker beside her, the way he gazes at her, and the way he reaches out to touch her shoulder makes the moment so intimate that I almost turn away.

But I stop in my tracks, and hope they don't catch me staring. 

Axel says something to her softly, but I can't understand what he's saying over the chaos of students making their way to their next class. He looks sad himself, like he wants to cry but wouldn't let himself in a million years, and pulls Nicole into his arms. There's something about the action that makes me so jealous, even though I know there's nothing between them anymore. Maybe it's not even jealousy. Maybe it's just exasperation. When will he do that to me? Will he ever?

I look away because I can't take it anymore. I miss him so much. I just want him to touch me again, like he did yesterday. Even something like that would make me happy. I do believe that it will happen some day. I know he likes me. I know he's going away but I know he wants to start something with me before he leaves. But that'll be in four months. Even less if he doesn't figure it out soon. 

I see Sam in the caf during lunch, sitting with Will. She's the one who calls me over, patting the bench, offering me her carrots. "Hey, hun, how's it going?" 

I munch on one. "It's going."

"Are you and Axel a thing now?" She blurts casually, making Will look a bit uncomfortable. He must not have told her that he's helping Axel get me back. 

I shake my head. "No, honestly, I don't think he's going to make a move." I glance at Will, hoping he hears what I say and tells Axel. I'm tired of being patient. He knows I love him and that I want him and that if he wants me, he's the one who has to show some initiative. 

But Will's face is unreadable. 

"So fun fact," Sam mentions, "I might be getting a book published?" 

"What?"

"Yeah," she leans in, "I've been talking to a publisher and he really likes it. I'm going to hear back soon but," she holds out her arms, "your girl might become a published author!" 

I hug her and congratulate her and hope for the best for her in whatever she does and wherever she goes, as long as she doesn't hurt my brother. 

I try to find Tasha but she seems to have disappeared until I meet her in phys ed, already changed and out at the baseball diamond. I haven't told her about Axel yet. The other girls heard all about my weekend in the change room, but Tasha usually gives the best advice.