✔︎ | Part of Me (Trilogy)

34 | hospital visits

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34 | hospital visits

I'm here, baby. I'm here. I got you

I get to fill out forms while I wait; it's such a fun activity for someone who literally just had to face the fact that their loved one might be dead. It is distracting though, which helps after I've literally called everyone that Axel might know to tell them what happened, and have nothing else to do but drown in my own thoughts and fears. 

Jamie isn't much help. He falls asleep on my shoulder by 10 after talking with his fellow policemen. 

Luckily, around 11, he's woken up again when the doctor tells us we can see Axel. I'm on my feet immediately, knocking Jamie's head from my shoulder, and he groans, rubbing his eyes, only realizing what the doctor told us when I follow her into the room. He comes behind me, his supportive hand on my shoulder when I gaze at Axel, almost unrecognizable.

I take a deep breath and wander forward, crouching at his bedside, linking two of my fingers around his, trying to hold back my tears that I thought would have dried up by now. I lean forward to gently kiss his cast, and whisper, "I'm here, baby. I'm here. I got you." 

Axel is out cold, but it comforts me that he might hear, or just know, that I'm by his side.

Jamie pulls up a chair for me to sit in, and one for himself too. He takes my other hand in his and gives me a positive smile. "He's fucking strong, Avi," Jamie whispers, "I saw the collision. The cars were totalled. I don't know how he got out of there alive, but he obviously knew he had something to live for and he wasn't just about to let that go."

I squeeze Jamie's hand. "Thank you, Jamie. Thank you for being here. I was so scared."

He nods. "I know. But he's going to be fine. It might take a while for him to recover, but he's going to be fine. You will be too." 

I glance back down at Axel, rubbing my thumb over his fingers, and nod. 

Jamie sits back against the chair, and throughout the next 15 minutes, his head bobs at least a couple times as he tries to stay awake. I smack his shoulder lightly and tell him to go home and get some sleep. He's had a crazy long day policing, and in case I'm exhausted and asleep when Axel wakes up, someone else will need be here for him then. 

Halfway through the night Axel gets moved to a new room, and I stay by his side the entire time. I take a quick nap and end up waking up only moments before the sun. I ask the nurse if Axel's been awake yet, but she says he hasn't. I sit with him for another hour before my stomach growls and my body longs for some caffeine; My legs are asleep and in need of some exercise too, so I decide to wander through the halls to find my way to a cafeteria or some source of food. 

I call Mom and update her and the family while I have breakfast and down a large coffee, and get some fresh air before wandering into the hospital again. I know Axel told me to stay out of it, but being at the hospital now, all I can think about is that his dad is literally right here! Or might be, at least, he is sometimes. I doesn't feel right to let that go. 

I go to the front desk and the nurse, a different one this time, greets me with a smile. 

"Does Dr. Andrew Smith work here?" I ask. "He's a cardiologist." 

"The Heart Institute is just across the street," she tells me. 

I thank her. I should go back to Axel, or just call his father, but I wander across the street instead and ask for an appointment with Dr. Andrew Smith immediately. He's not here, apparently. 

"Can I leave a message?" I ask his secretary. She nods and takes out a pen, and I say, "tell him Axel White is in the ER. He'll know who that is." 

I walk back to the hospital without asking when Dr. Smith will be back so that I can make a persuading case as to why he should care about his son and be in his life, but I already feel guilty for being here. I had to try one more time I keep telling myself, just in case, just in case he changed his mind and wants to meet his son, just in case Axel has even the slightest chance of reuniting with his family. 

I don't get my hopes up though, in fact, I forget about it all together when I walk back into Axel's hospital room. I'm glad I finished my coffee before, or I'd have dropped it right now, halting at the door, gazing in at a nurse and Axel, who has woken up. 

"Axe," I burst, my eyes flickering from him to the nurse. "Is everything alright?" 

"Yes, he's already improving," she tells me, and glances down at him, "but rest is key here, alright?"

I nod for him, and the nurse leaves us alone, and I rush to his side, taking his hand in mine. The room is dim, cutting out any bright light that might affect his concussion, but he still hardly opens his eyes. I sigh out and place my lips down against his gently, and he kisses me back the best he can. And then he groans out loudly, having tried to lift his broken arm to put it around me. 

"Babe, don't," I whisper, pulling away. 

He chuckles breathlessly. "Come to my other side," he begs, "that arm is really fucked up." 

I drag my chair to the other side of his bed and lean into him so that his arm can easily slide across my shoulder, and lightly place my head against his bruised chest, the tears threatening to spill from my eyes again. 

"How'd your exam go?" he asks. 

I gasp. "My exam? Seriously? I don't give a shit about my exam, babe. How do you feel?" 

"Like shit," he murmurs, "or well, not really. I don't feel much at all. Just numb. And that makes me feel like shit." 

"Well I'm not leaving your side, so let's feel like shit together, okay?"

Axel chuckles lightly again. "What happened?" 

He doesn't know. I glance down at him, worry in my eyes. I don't know if I should tell him now. I don't know if he can handle it. But maybe he does know, because he closes his eyes and sighs, pulling me back into him, his hand squeezing my shoulder. He swears into my ear and holds me tighter, even though it hurts him. 

"Thank God he found me and not you," he whispers. 

I never considered that. I never considered that maybe Gary wanted to hurt me. 

"I had to go back to the apartment," he tells me, "my dumb ass forgot my resume. I just saw a car come at me. It was too late to do anything; it was so unexpected. But I thought I recognized the vehicle. Was he arrested?" 

I go still against Axel's body. "No, Axel, he, um, he didn't make it out alive." 

Axel doesn't say anything, but he goes still too, stiller than before anyway. I don't know what he's feeling, but I'm not about to ask him, especially when he murmurs, "talk to me about something else. It's exhausting keeping my eyes open or talking or doing anything really."

I kiss Axel's cheek and bring my chair closer, taking off my boots and curling up on it's cushion, grasping my boyfriend's hand once again. "What should we talk about?" I ask him. "We don't have to talk at all if you want to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up again." 

"Hmm, no your voice is comforting," he mumbles, "tell me stories."

I giggle. "Tell you stories? Happy ones? I need some time to think —"

A figure appears at the door and diverts my attention. A woman appears behind him with a bouquet of flowers. It doesn't take me long to realize who they are. 

・・・

read KISSING FOR CHARITY on Dreame! Link in my bio