✔︎ | Part of Me (Trilogy)

19 | how to deal with heartbreak

19 | how to deal with heartbreak 

 I've never felt so at peace in anyone else's arms

3 days. 3 days and 20 hours to be exact. I've been home. In bed. Reading. Hardly eating. Moping around. Sleeping. My fever dulled the morning after it started, and the tightness in my chest went away almost instantly. What made the days so much worse was finding out Axel had left before I woke up. And I haven't seen him since. 

I had gone downstairs Tuesday morning, and Mom had taken the day off of work. She pulled me into a hug and started crying. Apologizing for not being home. For not being able to help me. She didn't mention Axel once. Maybe she didn't even know. He could have left right after I fell asleep in his arms for all I know, before she even got home. 

And dad said nothing about him later either. 

I finally asked Will what had happened when he came home from school, and he told me he had left around six. Then dad explained what happened when Mom got home. She frowned. She didn't say anything about Axel. Only started crying. Will didn't tell her what caused my panic attack. She didn't ask if it was Axel, since he was the one who rushed in and calmed me down. 

Then I went back to bed and slept for a little while longer. I missed Axel when he came to read to Jem that night. In fact, I missed him every time he came. And he never tried to see me, to see how I was doing, or even to say hello. 

That definitely dragged me down a little. Being in his arms gave me so much hope and then he took it all away when he left without a word, not speaking or wondering about me while I stayed home from school the rest of the week. 

But today is the day I conquer something. 

I get a call from Nicole while I'm eating an afternoon snack. "Linh heard about what happened to you," she tells me, referring to my breakdown. "It's been going around a bit. I think Principal Gnimes is going to call you, Tanner, and Sam to the office on Monday. Except Tanner won't be there. He'll be in jail."

My breath hitches in my throat, but I'm at home, my dad and Jem in the other room, and I feel safe enough to hear his name. "Explain?"

"She's in," Nicole squeals. And she sniffles. She's crying. "She convinced a couple other girls to join. We're meeting at my place after school. Are you okay to come?"

"I'm more than okay," the tears form in my eyes. "Let's do this."

・・・ 

Who's coming to get drunk before the party tn? - Helen

I'm not going, I reply.

I'm going to Avi's - Tasha

Wait, you are?