book 1 ✔︎
book 2 ✔︎
book 3 ✔︎
PART OF ME - you become so emotionally close to someone that you feel like they are literally a part of you, like a half of your heart. You don't want to live without them - you can't.
Aviana Ember wouldn't know this fe...
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My family opens presents on Christmas Eve, so we all, except the sleeping toddlers, sit around the fireplace in our jammies tonight, drinking hot cocoa, while Mom and Dad start grabbing their presents from underneath the tree. Jem can hardly wait to open hers, so she starts. She grabs the hard packages first, because she knows the rest are just clothes, which doesn't excite her as much.
My heart is full as she names off all of the items she receives, handing them over to Axel when she's done awing about them. "A cookbook! A birdhouse — that I get to decorate! A doodle pillowcase? Wow!"
Jem gapes at her gifts, and Axel's excitement for her makes her even more excited.
I try to hide how intoxicated I am by him, but he grins over at me, and it's just infectious.
Axel brings his gifts out too, and I'm not surprised when there isn't one for me. I didn't get him one either. I know Mom notices, as she's sitting in all of her gifts, with the scarf Axel got her around her neck, but she doesn't bring it up.
"How about a movie?" Dad asks after everyone has opened their presents. "It's only 10."
"I can stay up?" Jemmy asks, her eyes hopeful, gazing from dad to mom.
Mom nods. "Just tonight."
Jem claps her hands and giggles, snuggling into Axel's body. He has just changed into the onesie Mom picked out for Jem to give to him, which is black and has tons of cat faces all over it. He looks absolutely adorable, so I try to avoid looking at him. He lifts Jem up and they sit on the couch as will puts on Home Alone.
"I'm going to get to bed actually," I tell everyone, and Axel's eyes instantly meet mine. I know he was hoping I'd come sit beside he and Jem. I break eye contact and murmur, "I'll sleep on Will's couch. Have a good night guys. Merry Christmas Eve." I give Mom and Dad a hug and avoid giving Jem a goodnight kiss because she's in Axel's arms, before gathering my gifts and jogging up the stairs.
Every part of me just wants to let Axel back in. I should go with him. I should tell him that I love him and keep my promise to him. He was right, after all. He never broke his promise to me. He came back. I tried moving on only months after he left, not even thinking about how much our breakup affected him.
But he chose to do this, I tell myself, he chose to leave like that.
I make a decision as I comb out my hair before bed: I'm staying here. I will not collapse and go with him after what he put me through. Maybe I will go some day, but probably not. I will most likely move on, now that I have made my peace with him.
There's a knock at my door. I tuck my hair behind my ears and go to open it, not surprised to meet Axel, his hands shoved inside his pockets, looking a little nervous.
