Disease

Part 19 of Disease
Looking at him cry breaks my heart twice..He sits on the bed and looks at me am sure not knowing what to say..what excuse should i give??possibly i was raped and couldn't tell him?no he'll get angrier..maybe he's been lazy in bed lately so i decided to use the easiest way out but no that will hurt him..he'll feel less of a man.. Probably i should just tell the truth..it's the right thing to do..i can't add more secrets..they will pile up and blow up someday.That way he'll even be more hurt..Furthermore it's not my fault..i never wanted to cheat..It's all my boss' fault..plus if Sheila hadn't pointed the gun at me i would have just said no,quit the job and move on swiftly..maybe that's a bit cliché.. What if after that one time i reported to the police and end the story there..my hubby was not giving me enough so it's a better justification for my actions but why didn't i talk to him about it??talking solves problems.i mean communication is the key to a working marriage..tell me guys who's fault is it really?

"Stella,you are not even ready to make me understand why you are doing this?" He asks.. To be honest am not.It's the first time in a very long time since he called me by my name.. Is he that angry really? He should probably work on his anger first..Enyewe i have drama.I've been caught masturbating but instead here i am acting the victim,just because he called me by my name.😂."baby are you even serious right now?you are tripping!! "I say..i can see the shock on his face.Am sure he expected me to be sorry."i was just steaming up for you..i knew you'd come home early so i decided to get horny for you..baby,it's been so long since we got crazy..plus we are trying for the child remember?!"i say as i kiss him and unbutton his shirt..i know the thought of the child makes him softer so that's a relief for me.Plus deep down i know my husband loves me so he's an easy one towards me..

He's responding to my kisses so everything is settled as for now..Now how do i keep Alex quiet..He needs to say nothing to Victor,but wait his case has nothing to do with me masturbating  right?aaah,he can say if he wants to.furthermore  i know how to handle my hubby so it's not a problem..As for tonight i just have to cope with the missionary..It's funny how Victor seems to enjoy it..My people,tonight is the night.. I turn my man over and give him crazy head..i can see he loves it..am now sure he will grab me like crazy and possibly enter me with some nice doggy..Instead he actually just cums in my mouth..without notice for that matter..I climb up on top of him and kiss him..slowly to his ears and whisper,"why don't you give me some doggy on my anus baby.."..Finally,i am having my anal sex..I've missed it you know..Shock on me..He pulls me away and looks at me like he has seen a ghost..He walks out of bed,sighs and then looks back at me.."Am beginning to think what the doctor said is true.these days you are acting so evil.You asked if the doctor is gonna have sex with us,now you want anal sex..what's next?"before i even utter a word he adds,"i just realized you are lying to me..yes we are trying for the child but you are still on the pill..or when did you take out the implant?"he walks towards me and checks my left upper arm where the implant is.."see.its still here..who are you Stella?are you still the same woman i married 7 years ago?are you still that church girl i met 10 years ago?You need to work on yourself!"he finishes and walks to the bathroom..

Guys?!what now?!what now?!i think my end has come..i wanted to tell the truth but i got scared..is it time?? No...he's angry..let him come from the shower then we talk..that's better right? "Am sleeping on the coach tonight.. You are so disgusting" he says as he picks a duvet from the wardrobe and walks out..

Noo..it has not come to this..God!what did i get myself into?this is how i die right? It's my death now right?watching him walk out on me like that kills me...i can't help but cry all night..Is this what they call in good and bad times?!i need to decide... FAST!!!

©Brendah Jons