Disease

Part 22 of disease
After staying in the hospital all day getting the implant removed and being talked to by doctor jojo,who is also a therapist,it's time to go home..I know i don't exactly need help but if i become rebellious,we will forever stay on the same sport..so i accept to take therapy classes with Doctor Jojo..few days later,am just doing my best not to be caught masturbating coz things have changed around the house.What was once my peaceful home,has now turned into a cold cave..no one talks to the other..On saturday, i love doing general cleaning in my house...so now I am busy wiping my bedroom window panes when Victor comes in the bedroom looking quite angry.i don't ask questions so he decides to talk about the stress he's undergoing this time..poor guy..he thought he'd trick me into confessing that indeed i need help and then he'd make the say everything...nooo..i can't let that happen..

"I need you to talk..tell me your problem and we will solve it together right now.what is happening to you?i am in the dark baby i just wanna know." He says while helping me sit on the bed with him.He starts reminding me of our vows,especially in good times and in bad times.."baby i meant that.. I am willing to stand with you no matter what.. Just tell me what happens then i will make sure we walk through it together. "He says holding my hand.Now this is the time to say i was raped and they even fucked my anus that's why i thought of anal sex,the say they did it for long that's why i was masturbating..lame reason tho..I'll say that's what has been stressing me and making me act like am losing my mind..i could say those times Alex carried me i was in pain,plus it's the reason of my tummy ache the other day..perfect plan.

" i am listening babe..talk to me please.."he says moving even closer.."is there anything about your boss i need to know?"he adds..i nod and there i say i had sex with him..he asks if it was rape but i accept it was out of self will..yes i can see the pain in his eyes but I've already started so let me finish.."I've cheated more than twice..with people you won't believe... If i start mentioning them we will stay here..so the truth is this now..it started with my boss,and slowly to the other people..I've tried stopping i donno if i can.. I am too weak..that's why i masturbate..that's why i just want satisfaction,that's why i keep trying to get us back to where we were..baby i am sorry,i don't know what to do at this point..i even wish i could just die..please baby...i need help...i will undergo it however hard it is..please i need help.."i am crying and panting right now...am sure he is so hurt right now but he doesn't show it to me..he just hugs me and i can hear him whisper in my ears,"it's gonna be okay.."

Finally it feels like I've let go  of a big burden and even tho i know it's gonna take time to heal and take more of those therapy classes at home and having Victor around,since he took a leave from work to take care of me...we have had sex once and i feel i should just accept the fact that this is my hubby and i need to live with it..it's been two weeks and to be honest,things feel a bit better... Opening up to Doctor Jojo is really helping ease the pain up..Victor also comes for the programme and am sure we will get back to normal and our marriage will stand again...i might finally get the baby and we live happily ever after...if there's one thing i thank God for is the gift of such a good husband...and that's how we are supposed to be in marriages,never give up on each other no matter what.. Am happy😊😊😊

©Brendah Jons