Disease

Part 23 of Disease
Life is becoming better each day and i am enjoying the early days of my marriage..having my hubby cook for me,clean the dishes with me, do cleaning together,take a shower with me and he actually washes me,having him give me that cj in the shower then good love making..i am indeed reforming..the next thing is going back to church..although for sure that will happen soon..I've actually started watching motivational TV programmes and let's just say the Stella the world knew is back.. I want to go resign from work and start searching for a new one..i don't go to the gym anymore and i haven't seen ian for a while now..i guess everything is okay and i can breath now...

Few days later,Alex wants me to take him for house hunting..We dress up sporty and off we go..it's not an easy task trying to find a house of your choice.. I remember Victor and i arguing about our house which was my choice and i know right now he loves that home as if he grew up in it..we wanted our children to grow up there and let that be their roots.. Walking up and down isn't an easy job..we get to this estate that is still undergoing construction to check around..one engineer walks up to us..maaan..you should see him..he is this sexy hot guy,with that dark skin tone we call melanin, he's well built and the fact that he's in a vest makes the whole package look even better.. You can see the dust on his face and he looks like those guys from the movies... I can even see him walk in that slow motion towards me..fantasies tho.

"For the third time hello" i realize his hand is waving at my face trying to awaken me..oh my...was i that lost in thought..i remember Jojo say if am tempted to cheat or if i feel like am getting horny and i can't control it,i just walk away without an explanation..at this point am turned on, heeey am kidding..am a reformed wife and i wouldn't even be tempted to cheat again.. Unless Sheila.. Hahaha she's the only one i could cheat with and not feel so guilty about it..after saying hi back,i drag Alex and we walk away..these days he understands my situation so it's not a big deal..after a long day,we get home and chill..Minutes later my hubby comes in and kisses me,says hi to his brother and goes straight to the bedroom.He looks quite disturbed..i warm some tea and walk to the room where i find him seated on the bed..clearly he's in deep thoughts..i don't know how to say it any other way so I'll just say it,"honey, what's the matter??do you want to talk about it?"i ask, handing the tea to him..he hugs me and assures me all is well it's just a problem with work.."but baby you are on leave..you shouldn't be stressing over it."i add...he smiles to show that he agrees..

After dinner,we usually shower together before making love 'trying for the child' you know then sleep...Tonight is weird because my hubby seems to be so lost in thoughts and this is breaking me inside..did he make a mistake?is he really okay? I don't understand ...what is he going through? Can't he just tell me?i opened up to him why not him now??if it's a mistake i can forgive for sure...he forgave worse anyway...

"Baby, you are going to rehab.." He say as tears almost falling down his cheeks...i can't believe Victor is sending me away just because of what i did!?!!okay it's not "just" what i did,yes it was a lot but at least let him understand am healing from home,i don't need rehabilitation.i don't wanna go..I've been improving so well...i can't help but cry.

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