Emo Trinity x Reader

Ryan Ross x Reader - A Letter Part Two

Word count: 1 702

Ryan had listened to all your voice mails. And then he had deleted all of them. He had been crying while listening to your voice for the, what he thought, last time. And then he took a hammer and smashed his phone to pieces.

~*~

The first weeks had been pure horror for you. You felt sick all the time, you stayed home from work. You did not even answer the door or phone. After three days your mother was standing in your room. She had gotten the emergency key from the neighbors after you did not return her calls. She did not understand how you felt. She had never gotten her heart broken like you did. She had married her first boyfriend, your dad, and they were still happily married. But exactly because she could not imagine the pain you were in, she stayed to look after you. She stayed for three weeks, cooking and cleaning, making sure you were eating enough and listening to you whenever you needed to talk to someone. You were as grateful for your mother, and father who came to join the two of you a few days later, as you were heartbroken about Ryan.

And then you got angry. You knew it was your survival instinct kicking in. You were able to live without him. You were able to lead a happy, fulfilled life. You did not need him, or anyone else for that matter. Except maybe your parents. You started to cook again, dressed nicely, went out with friends and tried to ignore the unimaginable pain in your chest. You laughed and were able to have a good time, and after a few weeks you were even able to fall asleep without crying.

Months passed and then years. And suddenly you were invited to a friend's wedding. At that point it had been two and a half years since Ryan had completely disappeared from your live. You felt good. Sometimes there was still a sting in your heart when you walked past his favorite clothes shop, or the aisle with his favorite cereal in the supermarket.

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon in June. You had been late to the ceremony so you had sat in the very back of the church. Now the newlywed couple stepped out of the cool church into the warm summer breeze. Flower petals floated through the air and you almost managed not to think how it would feel to be with Ryan right now. There was music, laughter, cheering. It smelled of flowers, champagne, and freshly cut grass. Many toasts were spoken, many hands were shook, many people introduced.

"Hey," you recognized the voice of one of the guys you had been to college with. You had never been close with him, but you remembered him well. "I bet you don't remember this guy!"

You turned around to your former class mate. Next to him stood a tall, handsome man, dark brown hair, brown eyes, simple, black suit. It felt like a wave was rushing towards you before breaking down over you. And with this wave everything came back to your memory. The first time you had seen these brown eyes, the first time you had hugged this tall, thin frame, the first time these full lips had been pressed against yours, the first time those long, slim fingers had touched the skin under your shirt, the first time he had stuttered a love confession. Every emotion you had ever felt for Ryan was back ten times as strong as you had ever felt them, while his eyes widened, recognizing you. But with all the love and the butterflies and aching for his touch, all the heartbreak, pain, anger and disappointment returned as well. You were not mad at him, not anymore. The years without him had killed your anger and replaced it with confusion. He had never explained why he had broken up with you, never told you why he disappeared just like he had. And now there he was. Standing right in front of you. Alive and healthy.

It took all your willpower not to ask him why he had left you. Instead you gave a polite nod, ignoring your raging heart and your weak knees, and turned away from him.

But your friend did not give in so easily. He started to tell you stories about Ryan, while both of you stood next to him uneasily, avoiding each other's glances. Your friend was one of the people who had not known about your relationship to the musician, so you were not really mad at him, even though a part of you really wished he'd stop talking and take Ryan away from you. But your wish was quickly destroyed.