Something Between Us

Chapter 10

Emma's POV

Killian hasnt been himself for the last few weeks and I was starting to get alittle worried. Since all the kids were gone for the night I decided to make Killian dinner and just talk to him. Maybe this will make him feel better.

"Okay Swan if you want to go to your brother's for the night Im cool with that. I dont mind being alone." Killian says.

"Well actually Im staying. I hope thats okay." I say.

"Thats fine love." He says.

"How come they took the kids for the night?" I ask.

"Well actually funny story you see. They used to do that all the time so Milah and I could be alone. Then when Milah passed they stopped because they wanted me to be with my boys. They also didnt want to start it back up until they knew for sure you knew what you were doing. So you could take a well deserved break." He says.

"Well thats nice of them. Hey can I ask you something." I say.

"Sure love. Whats up?" He questions.

"How are you? I mean the woman you loved for a long time is now gone. Leaving you with three kids to raise all alone. So I wanted to ask this when I first got here, but I didnt know how. Also at that time you didnt know me. So really how are you?" I ask.

He didnt know what to say. He just looked at me and then at the ground. It was quiet for awhile so I got up and made dinner. Then as we eat the silence continued. I knew I has asked the wrong question. I was heading upstairs when Killian stopped me.

"Wait... Come sit with me." He says.

"Okay." I say following him to the couch.

I sat down next to him and he looked upset. So I placed my hand over his letting him know he was okay.

"It was my fault. She and I had gotten into another fight. We were fighting alot lately. She wanted to leave town and move our family and I wanted to stay cause my family was here. That night she said she couldnt do this anymore that she couldnt do us. She planned to leave and once she got on her feet she was gonna come back for the boys and that would be that. I told her I wanted to work this out, but she said that it wasnt the time and that she might change her mind she just need to go. I didnt stop her I should have, but I didnt. Then I got the call saying that her car was totaled and that she was gone. I couldnt believe she was gone and the next day I had to identify her body. So to answer your question Swan no Im not okay. Everyday Im reminded that it was my fault. Everyday I look at my boys and blame myself that they lost their mother. I hope that answer your question." He says.

"Killian Im so sorry. Though I dont think its your fault at all. Believe me you cant control another persons actions. I should know I too blamed myself for an accident." I say.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"Well my brother named his son after my ex. All he wanted to do was get my home safe from the prom. Thats not what happened. I saw him talking with another girl at the prom and jealousy came over me. I left early I didnt want to see him. He followed me and he called after me my whole walk home. I didnt stop until I heard the sound of shattering glass. I turned around and saw Neal dead on the street. I blamed myself for so long. Thats why I left town, but I soon realized I could have changed what happened, but I cant now. So believe me I know what your going through, but the only way to make it better is to remember that it wasnt your fault." I tell him.

I had tears steaming down my face and Killian whipped them away for me. This was the first time I realized I had someone who knew my pain of losing someone they have loved. Maybe now this will make both of us a lot stronger as a team.