Heartless... (TomTord)

9. Stars

Tord's POV:

"I-I..." Oh no... I didn't want them to worry. They didn't know I'm anorexic. They didn't know about my depression. And they didn't know about my anxiety neither...

"I...can't remember...?" I said, trying to say it in a steady voice, but failed. It sounded like I was asking myself, if I could remember...

Tom and the others looked at me with a questioning face. "Umm...okay...?" Tom answered, but I could feel he didn't believe me.

"Is this the first time it happened?" Tom asked. I nodded. I looked up at him. He looked worried and his 'eyes' were red. He was probably crying... But why?

*Time skip*

We were sitting in a car and we were on our way home. It was silent. Nobody talked. It was late and dark outside. I was looking at the stars from my window. They were beautiful.

I looked at Tom, who was sitting on the other side. His 'eyes' were closed. He looked so relaxed and calm. I couldn't help, but smile. Then I looked out of the window again.

I was lost in the night sky looking at those beautiful stars until I heard Edd's voice.

"We're here!" I looked at him and then heard a little yawn coming from Tom.

"Oh, we're home?" He said in a tired voice. "Eeeyup! Matt, wake up!" Edd said and turned to Matt.

"W-what? Oh yes, we're home. Finally! I haven't looked at my mirrors too much long. I'm starting to feel depressed!"

I looked at him. He was so lucky, that he was only depressed from not seeing his face.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. I opened the door and started to get out of the car. But as I stood up, I immediately felt the headache. I yelped in pain and fell down.

"Tord!" I heard Tom's voice. I looked up still feeling the pain. He kneeled down and helped me get up. "Thanks..." I said after letting out a yawn.

We got in the buidling and said goodbyes to Edd and Matt and walked to our apartment. When Tom opened the door, I ran to the couch and laid down. My head still hurt a lot.

"Tired?" Tom broke the silence. "Yeah..." I answered and let out another yawn, but after that I felt another wave of pain in my head.

"Ow." "Are you okay?" Tom looked at me with worry. "Yeah, just my head still hurts." "Oh... Anyway, I'm going to bed so...goodnight."

"Goodnight..."

It's been like an hour and I couldn't sleep. I didn't know why, I felt tired. I let out a sigh and got up. I walked to the window and opened it. I looked up to see those...beautiful stars. I couldn't help but smile. They were so pretty.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I started to think about what happened in the last few days, but I got a little bit far...I started thinking about the...incident... I could feel tears form in my eyes.

You don't deserve this...

"..."

They don't care about you...

"..."

They never forgave you...

*sobs*

And they never will!

NO! I couldn't think about this anymore. I closed the window and ran into the kitchen. I pulled out a knife, rolled up my sleeve and...

Do it...

I made three big cuts. I had tears on my cheeks, but I ignored it. I got up, washed the knife and my wrists, then bandaged it and laid on the couch, quickly falling asleep.

I deserved it...