How to Save A Life (Anthony Rizzo)

8- Nothing But A Distant Memory

Clara

As time passes the paintings flood out of me. Eventually the room is finished and the apartment is filled with paintings and I felt kind of bad. I was able to contact my job and explain what happened. They understood because they know I end up in the hospital a lot so they were just happy I was okay. I give them the paintings I owed them but I couldn't promise any new ones at this point, I didn't need Eddie finding me or bothering my clients to find me so I was on hiatus for a while. Just going to lay low and out of the way.

So I sit in my room like I do most days and paint whatever my heart desires on a canvas. I was in portrait mode and really into painting people in flowers or some nature thing, I was good at that. It feels like the day slips by before I get interrupted.

"Is that me" a voice asks and I turn around to see Anthony standing beside me. He looked at my paintings the same way he looked at me, with so much curiosity and so much heart.

"Uh yeah, it is" I admit turning to the painting I was doing.

"This is amazing" he claims as he gets a closer look.

"Thanks. I usually paint something that means a lot to me" I explain and he turns to me.

"I mean a lot to you" he asks.

"More than you will ever understand" I insist.

"I really hate that we ended up together like this. I would like to think in another world we were put together and it wasn't because of you being hurt" he claims.

"Do you... do you like me" I ask as he smiles down at me.

"To put it in the simplest way possible... yes" he admits. I just nod my head before he lets out a dry laugh. "Do you uh... do you like me" he questions.

"There's a lot of things I'm feeling right now. Scared, alone, disappointed, and yeah, liking you is one of them" I admit. 

"But you don't want to be in a relationship right now" he says almost reading my mind. I silently nod my head as I advert my eyes from his. He was doing so much to help me and I wish there was a way to repay him. I wish I could show him that I did like him even though I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. "That's okay" he insists as he pulls my chin up so I had to look at him.

"I'm so sorry" I whisper and he just shakes his head.

"It's okay Clara, I'm not mad at you" he insists.

"I know, but I'm mad at myself. I just want to move on. I want to be happy, to be happy with you" I explain.

"You need time, Claire."

"The more time that passes the more it hurts" I explain.

"One day, maybe not too far from now, you're not going to think about these times. You're not going to think that everyone is going to hurt you and you're not going to feel so worthless. You're going to feel amazing and all of this is going to be nothing but a distant memory" he says.

"I would love that" I say as I choke back the tears.

"But for now what do you say to some popcorn and a movie" he offers and I smile.

"That sounds great" I admit. "What movie is it" I wonder.

"The Fault in Our Stars" he says and I smile.

"I loved that book" I claim.

"Me too" he agrees and I raise my eyebrow. He softly scoffs as he places a hand over his chest. "What!?! I read" he defends and I laugh.

"I'm not judging" I insist.

"You were" he smirks.

"Kinda" I tease and he laughs along.

I follow him into the living room and he pops us some popcorn. I sit on the couch and find the movie on Netflix. I get curled up on my spot on the couch and he eventually joins me. He places the popcorn between us before he presses play. I lean back into the couch and bring my knees to my chest. I grab some popcorn and pop it in my mouth before returning to a little ball.

"Are you cold" Anthony asks and I shake my head.

"I'm fine" I insist.

"I didn't ask if you were fine, I asked if you were cold" he says and I laugh.

"Yeah, I'm a little cold" I admit.

"I'll go turn down the air" he says getting up from the couch. He adjusts the settings before sitting next to me once again. "Are you still cold" he wonders and I laugh.

"Well you turned the air down three seconds ago" I remind him.

"I was going to offer you cuddling to get you warm but not now that you're being mean" he pouts.

"Awww I'm sorry" I say sticking my bottom lip out. He tries to be stubborn with me but his face quickly  falls and he end up smiling over at me.

"Come here" he demands and I crawl across the couch. He wraps a arm around me and I move in close so I was leaning on his chest. I tuck my legs behind me so they get warm too before I place my hand on his chest. I watch as it rises and falls slowly with his breathing, so steady and so relaxed. He digs his fingers into my side so he was holding me and I felt so... happy. So calm and relieved that he was touching me and it wasn't so he could hurt me.

I look up at him to see had already been staring down at me. His eyes scan me as I lay in his embrace. My lips were dangerously close to his as we search each other's faces.

"Are you warm now" he asks softly and I nod.

"I actually am" I admit. But I was more warm on the inside than on the outside. Kind of like when you drink hot chocolate right after you get inside from being out in the freezing cold. It felt just like that.

"How is your head doing" he wonders.

"It's good. The doctors said it's healing nicely and that I should be fine now. Just to be careful with it and not do too much with my hair in that spot or it will hurt" I explain.

He softly kisses the scar on my head and I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my lips. He was such a sweetheart and had a incredible soul, I was beyond blessed that it was him who was the one who saved me.

We turn back to the tv and continue to watch the movie. I nearly fall asleep as I finally felt relaxed for once in my life. I wasn't thinking about everything that was wrong with my life, just how right it felt to be in his arms. I loved the feeling of his skin against mine. I can almost still feel his warm lips on the top of my head. I knew I was falling for him and I was honestly so scared, but it was so exciting at the same time.