How to Save A Life (Anthony Rizzo)

31- Euphoria

Anthony

After what has been arguably the craziest six plus months of my life, I was ending the season on a high note. It's insane to think about how much can change in just six months. How a stranger in need can become the love of your life. How a team who won 60 games the year before can win almost 100 the next year. How I thought I was saving someone, but in reality, she was the one saving me.

The 2015 season has had its fair share of ups and downs, there was a lot of tears and a lot of love, but at the end of it all I have a amazing girlfriend that I can see spending the rest of my life with. That's what matters. That after all of this I ended up with someone that I will hold on to forever, and forever is a really long time.

"Am I doing this right" I ask her as I put some more paint on the canvas that sat in front of me. Mine didn't look at all like hers at all but I'm not sure if it was supposed to or not.

Clara was adamant she could teach me how to paint. I haven't a artistic bone in my body. But she insists that I was stressed over baseball and painting was a good stress reliever. She was right, I was stressed about baseball and the playoffs coming up and needed something to calm my nerves. And if I wasn't so concerned about messing up I am sure it is a great stress reliever.

"There's no right or wrong way to be a painter. It's a personal outlet where there is no correct way to do it. There's different styles and no certain way to paint. It can be abstract or simple or complex, it's whatever makes sense to you, whatever inspires you" she insists.

"I could use some inspiration" I smirk and she pokes her head out from behind her canvas.

"And what would that be" she questions.

"A kiss" I say and she starts to laugh.

She reluctantly gets up from her seat and comes over to me. She pulls my chin up and places her lips onto mine. She leaves them there for a little and I let that crazy feeling take over.

"Mhmm, much better" I say after we break apart and she laughs.

Since she sleeps with me in my bed now we turned her room into a full on art studio. She insisted that I had something to do in here too but I have a whole village of things catered to me, I don't need anything else.

"I'm going to grab a drink, do you want anything" she offers.

"A water would be great" I admit.

She leaves the room and I turn back to my painting. Originally it was supposed to be a baseball field but I changed my mind halfway through. Now I was going to draw a open field with a sunset because it seemed peaceful and I love sunsets.

Eventually Clara comes back and hands me my water.

"Is it a sunset" she asks as she looks at my painting and I laugh.

"How in the world did you figure that out" I wonder.

"Did you know that sometimes when the sun sets and you're playing out at first base you kind of look up to the sky. And for a second you forget you're playing a game, you're just another guy who gets to watch the same sunset as 40,000 people around you. And sure it's just for a second, but those moments are just as valuable as the other moments that you play in" she says.

"I didn't think anybody ever saw me do that" I admit.

"Other people don't watch you the same way I do" she smiles as she sits down at her canvas.

"You can't say stuff that and leave me hanging" I pout. That's just not fair.

"I need to finish this painting so I think that I can" she claims.

"What are you painting" I ask.

"Euphoria" she claims and I smile. I was happy she was able to get that back.

"Is it the same as last time" I ask.

"Nope" she assures me.

"Well what is it now" I wonder.

"My situation has changed so my euphoria is changed.

When I was in that house... my euphoria was you. My unobtainable fantasy where happiness was endless and I would never be hurt. How could I possibly be hurt while holding you? So my painting was of me in your arms. You couldn't tell it was you, but I knew it. My eyes were closed tight because if I opened them and I saw you weren't there I would know it wasn't real. So my eyes stayed closed, but my arms were open for you. Your arms rested over my heart, you were protecting me like you always promised. And you never did let me down. Sure you didn't keep me from him, but that's never wanted from you. All I wanted was for you to love me, for our love to keep me from the bad things. And it did. That feeling, to me, was euphoria.

But now my euphoria isn't me in your arms, that's my reality. Now my euphoria is bigger than that" she claims.

"Which is..." I trail off.

"This" she smiles as she turns the canvas around.

At first I'm met with a lot of white. And I know what you're thinking, the canvas is white. But this was a different white, I wanted to call it heaven white. Really it was a bunch of different shades of white. They looked like white clouds on a really sunny day. You know, where the clouds are all white and puffy but the lights still shining through it? Just like that. In the middle of the painting the white clouds mold into the shape of the two hands. In the middle of the two hands was a bunch of bright colored flowers of all different kinds and sizes. I got chills when I saw it. It did remind me of euphoria but I didn't understand how this was her euphoria now.

"That is insanely beautiful. Probably my favorite one of yours" I admit as I feel the goosebumps grow on my arms.

"It's better than my last one" she claims.

"How is this euphoria to you" I ask.

"Because I feel like I'm in the clouds. Free, no shackles and no strings. I'm no longer being played like a puppet. I'm up in the clouds where everything is kind, everything is free. In this painting I'm in the flowers, in the hands of someone who is keeping me safe. But not safe from anything, just safe" she explains.

"Are those..." I trail off.

"Yeah. They're your hands Anthony. No longer do I beg to be in your arms, but now I'm protected in your hands. You water me and put me in the sun so I can grow, so I can be beautiful. That's my euphoria now" she says.

"Can I have a hug" I whisper and she giggles. I am a emotional guy and this... this made me emotional.

"Of course sweetie" she says moving around the painting. I pull her into my arms and suddenly it was me who was experiencing euphoria.