How to Save A Life (Anthony Rizzo)

70- Motherly Protection

Clara

"101" I announce as I take he baby thermometer out of Daisy's ear.

"Maybe we should take her to the hospital" Anthony admits as I pick her up off the changing booth. She had been crying for hours and that was highly unusual for her. And it just broke my heart knowing she wasn't feeling well. Especially since she was a pre-me I don't really have a choice but to get her checked out.

"Alright. Let me get her diaper bag and we can go" I say.

I pack her up a bag and get the baby carrier set up. We get her loaded in the car as she continues to cry. I've never seen her like this before and quite frankly I hate it.

We drive over to the hospital and get check in to convenient care. The place was full of sick babies and injured kids. But I hold my baby close to me and press her head against my chest. For once today she stops crying but her little fingers dig into my shirt and that's almost just as bad.

Finally they call her name and they take her back to get checked up. They weigh her and measure her before taking her temperature and checking her heartbeat. They take a look at her sinuses and write some things down. They take a throat swab to do some tests before leaving us for a while.

Her breathing was a little choppy and her sinuses were a little stuffy but the doctors didn't seem too worried. But since she was born premature they didn't want to treat it like it's nothing and wanted to be sure.

I sit there with Daisy in my arms, I look down in her puffy eyes as she looked up at me. I could feel how bad she felt and it broke my heart.

"Clara" Anthony says softly.

I turn to him and he quickly catches a tear that fell onto my cheek.

"I'm sorry" I whisper.

"Sorry for what baby" he asks.

"For being a mess. She needs me to be strong but seeing her like this... it makes me feel so weak" I whisper.

"She doesn't need you to be strong. She needs you to care and help her get healthy again. And that's what you're doing" he insists.

"I just want to make her feel better" I defend.

"You're not God" he reminds me.

"No" I admit. "But I am her mother and I do care for her so so very much. And I know I've been through way worse than this but I don't want my baby hurting ever. She should never feel what it's like when her only choice is to be strong" I explain.

"This isn't about a cold... is it" he questions.

I silently shake my head as my breathing starts to flutter. He softly cups my face and drags his thumb across my cheek.

"She will never have to know what you know" he insists.

"What if I can't protect her? I couldn't keep her from getting sick, how am I supposed to keep her from things far stronger than a little germ? I mean she's already so fragile, I don't want her to feel the type of pain I did. Not even a fraction of it" I insist.

"She's going to get hurt. I don't like it just as much as you do, but she's going to get hurt. And there's nothing you and I can do to stop things from happening to her. All we can do is help her through those things. Use what we know from going through them ourselves to assure her that she will never have to worry about feeling the pain that we have" he explains.

"Okay" I sniffle.

"Are you going to be good" he asks.

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I've just never had to go through this before and honestly it's terrible" I admit.

"I know you're scared. I know it hurts you to see her like this. But we're going to get though this, I promise" he says as he grabs my free hand. He kisses the back of it softly before lacing his fingers through mine. He squeezes my hand so I know that he's got me and it honestly did help.

Eventually the doctors come back and read us the results. It was just a cold but with her being a premature baby the chances of it becoming meningitis or pneumonia was high so we had to keep a close eye on her. But they give us some medicine to give her and specific instructions to make sure it doesn't get any worse. We thank them before we go home.

We get back and by now Daisy was all worn out. So I give her her medicine and place her in her bed. I watch her carefully as she peacefully sleeps, at least she couldn't feel like crap anymore.

I go downstairs and see Anthony by the door. He had his things packed and ready to go to a away game and I let out a long sigh. He turns to me before walking over. He pulls me into a strong hug and my eyes slam shut.

"You got this" he assures me and I nod. "If you need anything you know Aliya or Farrah or Jess would love to help out. If you feel like something is wrong call the doctors then call me. And please don't hesitate to contact me. I know I'm working, but work is not more important than you two" he says.

"I love you" I say softly and he kisses my forehead.

"I love you most."

He goes on his way and I pick up the house a little. I give Maddie a bunch of belly rubs and play with her for a while which made me feel a little bit better. She was such a blessing to have around. Almost like a therapeutic dog.

After a while I get Daisy up and feed her again. She gets to do tummy time and listen to music and I sit and watch. She already looked like she felt better which was a relief. But it was a long ride from here on out, and it's only going to get harder.

She starts to cry again and I let out a long sigh. I pick her up and hold her tight, she felt so hot and I wasn't sure how to get her temperature down. The medicine wasn't supposed to fully kick in until tomorrow so until then I had a really crabby baby.

I hear a knock on the door and let out a long sigh. I get up and see Anthony standing there looking down at me.

"What-" I start. I look him up and down like it wasn't really him, but it was.

"I got a plane that leaves early tomorrow morning so I can still make it to the game tomorrow night. I explained to Joe what was happening and he let me come back to be with you and Daisy. As long as I make it to Cincinnati tomorrow I will be fine" he explains.

"God you're a saint" I sigh. He takes Daisy out of my hands and she almost immediately stops crying. He comes in and I close the door behind him.

"You're really great, you know that" I ask.

"I try to be."