How to Save A Life (Anthony Rizzo)

63- The Hardest Thing

Anthony

I sit on our private plane at O'hare airport and stare out the window. I see Clara inside the building with Daisy in one of those baby carriers where you can just wear the baby on the front of you and you can be hands free.

She takes Daisy's hand then makes her wave and I wave back. I let out a long sigh as I realize that I won't be able to see them for a while.

"The first road trip after a baby is always the hardest" Jon mentions as he sits next to me. I usually sit with Kris on the plane but he had to talk to Joe about something so I got Jon this time.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better" I ask and he laughs.

"Not necessarily, it's more of a warning than anything. But once you get through this you're going to be good to go" he claims.

"And until then" I question.

"Cry quietly please" he smirks and I roll my eyes.

"It's okay buddy" David chimes in as he peaks his head over the seat in front of me. "He's only kind of joking."

"You're the worst Grandpa ever, did you know that" I ask.

"So I keep hearing" he laughs.

Eventually the airplane starts to pull away and I take one last look at my life that I was reluctantly leaving behind. I see my girls watch me leave and let out a long sigh.

If Daisy wasn't born premature she probably could have came with us to Pittsburg. But we didn't want to push our luck, given that she's healthy and didn't have any complications so far. Her traveling right now would be risky and there's no need for her to. The playoffs are a different story and a ways away. But for now it's best if Daisy stays home with her mom who I know will take great care of her.

We take off of the runway and the wheels retract into the plane then we were on our way. I let out a small whimper as the airport disappears from my sights. I tap my finger on the seat and Jon watches me.

"I don't like seeing you like this" he claims.

"I don't know what to tell you Jon" I sigh.

"I know it's hard. You want to be there for Clara and Daisy no matter what it means for that to happen. You feel like being a baseball player is getting in the way of being a good dad and a good partner. You want to help Clara through the first few steps of the baby being home and getting into a schedule. But she's going to be fine" he insists.

"There isn't a doubt in my mind that she'll be able to do this without me being there. She doesn't need me, she never really has. I just don't like living life without her. It sounds weird, I know. But she's my best friend, I don't want to do anything without her. And we were just given a gift, I could have just as easily lost both of them but God blessed me and let me keep both of my girls with me... and I can't even be with them" I sigh.

"I know buddy. It's not going to be easy. But think about how nice it is going to be to see her in a few days" he reminds me.

"Not soon enough" I mumble.

Eventually our plane lands and we head to the hotel. We didn't have a game until tomorrow but it was a day game so we wanted to fly out the day before. It's just easier that way.

I get up to my room and get my things set out. I pull out my phone and FaceTime Clara.

She answers me with the biggest smile on her face and that makes me smile back.

"I missed you" she claims as she walks around the house.

"I missed you too" I admit. "What are you up to?"

"Well Miss Daisy decided to poop everywhere... smelled like anything but daisies" she mumbles and I laugh. "So right now it is bath time for the little one" she explains.

She flips the camera around and I see Daisy sitting in the sink with bubbles on her head. She tries to look up at them but couldn't. It was probably one of the top ten cutest things I have ever seen in my life.

"What did mommy do to you" I ask and she starts to search for the sound of my voice.

"Mommy cleaned you" Clara defends and I laugh.

"How is she doing" I wonder.

"She's good. She misses her daddy though" she claims.

"How would you know that" I ask.

"Okay... I miss her daddy" she says as she turns the camera back around.

Her face appears on the screen and I couldn't help but smile. Just seeing her made me feel better.

"This is about to be the longest three days of my life... isn't it" she asks.

"Yeah. At least you'll be preoccupied with Daisy" I sigh.

"And you're not going to have anything to do" she asks.

"For three hours out of the day I will. But all the other ones I'll be thinking about you and Daisy. I haven't slept by myself in so long and do you have any clue about how upset I'm going to be when I wake up and you're not here" I ask.

"What are you complaining about? At least you're going to get to sleep" she laughs.

"I would rather stay up all night with you than sleep without you" I claim.

"Awww" she coos. "That's really sweet. I'll remember that when it's 2 am and I'm holding Daisy in my arms because she wants to be held" she teases.

"So what are you guys going to do for the rest of the night" I wonder.

"Well I'll have to get Daisy out of the water for one. Don't want her to turn into a prune" she claims. "Then we'll get our PJs on and listen to classical music because it makes you smarter and your momma happier" she coos as wipes away the bubbles off her head.

"What are you painting" I ask.

"How did you know I was painting" she wonders.

"Because I've spent more than two minutes with you before" I laugh.

"Okay I was going to paint" she admits and I laugh. "I was going to do a beach. I've been thinking about it a lot lately" she admits.

"Well I can't wait to see it" I insist.

"I can't wait to show you" she smiles.

We talk a little while longer before I let her go. She needed to get Daisy out of the bath and I had to be up early for the game tomorrow. So we reluctantly hang up and I get ready for bed. I brush my teeth and change and lay down.

I look to the other side of the bed and see it was completely flat. I choke back the tears as I close my eyes tight. This is about to be the hardest thing I have ever done.