How to Save A Life (Anthony Rizzo)

47- Good Mother

Clara

After things start to settled down and our house in Chicago finally started to feel like a home, it felt like baseball season was right around the corner. And that means that all the guys, old and new, we're going to be in town for Cubs Convention and Anthony's laugh off for cancer event too. February was a big month for us and to make things even more exciting, I was starting to show. It was just a little baby bump but it was something. 2016 was setting up to be a great year... just as soon as I figure out what the hell I'm doing.

"This place looks incredible" Jess gasps as I show her around the house. I give her the tour of what we have done and what we will need to do. She had a creative eye so I would love her help on some things.

Her and Kris just got back into town and naturally Anthony missed Kris more than he would ever admit. I am more than aware that I have to share my boyfriend with Kris but I don't mind, I get to hang out with his fiancé Jess who just might be the sweetest most incredible person I have ever met. Well besides Anthony at least.

"Thank you" I reply with a big smile. "There's one more room you need to see" I insist and she nods.

She follows me up to the stairs and we go to the mostly empty babies room. The only thing up there was the painting I made for Anthony Christmas Eve.

She walks straight to the painting on the wall and it takes no time for her to figure out what was happening.

"Holy shit. Claire... you're pregnant" she gasps and I smile.

"Yup" I say lifting my shirt showing off the very small baby bump. She lightly puts her hand over my stomach as she lets out a small gasp.

"My god, this is incredible! This is so exciting! Are you guys all heathy and stuff" she wonders.

"Yeah. I just had my three month check up the other day. We're both doing good and everything is according to schedule" I explain.

"That's awesome. Are you excited" she asks.

"I'm very excited. I always wanted a kid, and having one with Anthony, it's the greatest feeling in the world. I already love it so much and I can't wait to be a mom. I just hope I'll be a good mother" I sigh.

"You're going to be an amazing mother" she insists and I kinda chuckle.

"I would like to think so" I shake my head.

"You can't possibly think that you wouldn't be the best mother out there" she argues.

"I've been through some stuff, I don't want my problems to become their problems" I explain.

"Clara" she says softly. I look from the painting into her eyes and she looks back at me. "You're a incredible person. You have a caring nature that every child wants in a mother. You show more compassion and heart in the things you do to people you barley know than some people show to their own families. You have more maternal instincts than people with five kids. I mean, I cannot think of a way you would be able to mess this up.

I know you're scared, I get it. Any person who has been through what you have is going to be scared. But you're different, you don't hate everyone for what they did to you. You still have faith in people and you're going to have so much faith in that baby. You're going to be an amazing mother" she insists.

"I sure hope so" I sigh.

"And I know you're going to be busy with the baby and all of that. But I would love for you to be in my bridal party" she claims and I smile.

"Really" I squeal.

"Yeah. Most of my girls in there are from back home but Anthony is in Kris' party and I would love to have you in mine. I know we haven't had the easiest of relationships, I don't know what all happened but I know it wasn't good, but you're one of my best friends. Not just because you're with Anthony and I'm with Kris but because you're just a really great person. And it would mean a lot to me if you could be in my wedding party" she smiles.

"It would be a honor" I insist.

"I was supposed to ask you first but then Kris forgot and asked Anthony anyway. I had to beg him to keep his mouth quiet so he didn't ask you before I did" she laughs.

"I didn't even know you guys were engaged until New Years" I admit.

"I was wondering why you didn't ask about it" she admits. "I forgot you don't have any social media or anything."

"I feel like I'm about to break and get social media for art and baby reasons, but I'm not sure. It's a cruel world out there" I sigh.

"It is, and the internet trolls are the worst, but the Cubs fans are incredible and I feel like you are going to have fans of your own, considering your art is the big thing happening right now" she shrugs

"It would be nice to connect with people about art that I would otherwise never meet. I might have to look into getting a Twitter or a Facebook or something" I admit.

"Well let me know because I will be the first to follow you" she insists.

Eventually we head downstairs and find the guys on the couch. This couch could comfortably sit six people but Kris was tall so he was taking up quite a bit of space.

As soon was we get down there both of them stop talking and stare at me. I smile a little until I get over to Anthony. He pulls me into his lap and softly kisses my cheek.

"What were you guys talking about" I wonder and they both kind of look at each other.

"Babies" Anthony says.

"Weddings" Kris answers and I look between the two.

"Okay, you're lying to me but I don't want to know what it is because I am kind of scared" I admit.

"We were talking about babies and weddings" Anthony clarifies.

"Suuure" I say and he laughs. He rests a hand over my stomach and I smile down at him.

"So I know Anthony is more than excited about having a baby, for he hasn't stopped talking about the fact that he's going to be the father, but how are you feeling" Kris asks me and I turn to Jess.

"I got some wise words from a friend and I'm a little less terrified now. I know that no matter what I'm going to love this kid with all my heart and hope that will be enough" I explain.

"Love is always a good enough reason" he insists.

"Yeah, I've learned that. I'm always afraid to mess up, I guess that's why I love painting so much. Because when I make mistakes I can cover them up. But that's not how it is going to be with a baby, if I make a mistake there's no covering it up. Kind of like my scars. But that okay because my baby doesn't need me to be perfect. It needs me to love it, and I already do."