How to Save A Life (Anthony Rizzo)

44- Ready or Not

Anthony

Christmas Eve I wake up bright and early like a giggly little kid who asked for a bunch of stuff for Christmas and hopes it's all down stairs under the tree. The holidays were very important to me and spending them with the ones I love is pretty important too. The smile on my face was as big as ever as I roll over in bed to cuddle with my girlfriend.

I reach my arms out and search to grab something to pull her into me but I don't find her. I slowly sit up in bed before wiping my eyes so I could look around but notice she wasn't even here. I let out a long sigh because I planned on cuddling for at least a hour before I started the day but now I don't even know where my girlfriend is.

But if she wasn't in bed she was either in the shower, in the kitchen or in the spare room painting.

Eventually I get up to go look for her. I check the bathroom and she wasn't there. So I go out to the kitchen and there was food there but no Clara. Next I head off to the spare and I hear Christmas music playing softly. I smile to myself because I loved how much she loved Christmas. For someone who has had as much heart break as she has, I'm surprised she loved the holidays so much. A lot of people who had been through what she has sees the holidays as false hope, but she wasn't even like the people who are like her. I thought it was adorable how excited she was to get gifts for my family and decorate around the house. We wouldn't be here for much longer but she didn't care. We went full out.

I lightly knock on the door and she tells me to come in. I walk inside and find her in her painting apron almost completely covered in paint.

"What... did you get in a fight with a tub of paint" I joke as I sit on the stool opposite of her.

"Yeah. I think I really gave it to him" she giggles.

"If you say so" I sing song and she laughs. "So what are you working on" I wonder as I sit with my hands in my lap. I learned it's not nice to look what a artist is working on unless they show you. At least that's what Clara says.

"I'm working on something for one of the rooms at the new house" she claims.

"Which room" I wonder.

"Whichever spare is right next to the master bedroom" she says.

"And what's going in that room" I question.

"A nursery" she replies and the room quickly falls silent. I stare at her for a while until she realizes that I was a bit shocked at the moment. And by a bit shocked I meant I was totally floored.

"Excuse me" I ask and she laughs.

"Come look at the painting" she encourages and I slowly get up out of my chair. I walk across the room and stop when I am standing beside her.

I see a painting of her and my hand holding a folded baby blanket. On the blanket was a pair of tiny shoes, a pasafire, a baby bottle filled with milk and a bib among other baby things all lined up. My tattoo on my wrists and a few scars on her hand indicating it was defiantly us. In our hands was the swaddle with the words "sometimes the littlest things take up the most room in our hearts".

"Clara... are you pregnant" I finally whisper as I turn to her. She smiles up to me as she starts to slowly nod her head.

In that moment it felt like time stopped. I wanted to remember this moment forever. My mind was going so fast it felt like it was moving faster than life itself. We were going to have a kid. I was going to be a father. We were going to have a baby.

I felt like I was floating there for a second, it's like somehow I was just standing, but I couldn't feel my legs so it didn't feel like I was standing. Without even trying I smiled bigger than I have ever smiled before. I was smiling so hard that I could feel it in my teeth. I felt every muscle tense up as I try to control my excitement, but I'm sure it wouldn't last long.

"Please say something" she begs but all I do is smile.

I quickly wrap my arms around her and pick her up out of the stool she was occupying. I spin her around and around until she could not longer control her laughter. I'm sure I just got paint all over me but I wasn't even close to caring. I squeeze her tight enough to keep her steady but soft enough that I don't hurt her or the baby.

Eventually I set her back on her feet but I keep her close. I abruptly grab her face and press my lips to hers.

"Oh my god. I can't believe this" I whisper on her lips.

"Are you upset" she asks and I laugh.

"No baby. I'm not upset at all. There isn't one thing that makes me happier than the thought of starting a family with you. Maybe I wasn't thinking about doing that right now, but I'm not upset that we are. Not in the least. In fact I could not be happier than I am right now" I insist.

"Even if you won the World Series" she smirks.

"That would be a close second. But sharing this moment, with you, it doesn't get better than this" I admit.

"Are you sure? Because we've only been together for a few months and we were just starting to get out lives together-" she starts to ramble before I cut her off with her lips on mine. I sink my fingers into her neck and I feel her relax in my hands. We break apart but she keeps her eyes closed.

"We're going to be perfectly fine, okay? There's not a thing in this world we can't handle. Sure, it's not going to be easy. But what good is having something easy? If you're worried about being a good mother, don't. You're going to be an amazing mother. We have more than enough money to make sure our child is going to have everything it needs to be a good person and it will be surrounded by the best. I promise you, we're going to be fine" I say. She nods her head in my hands and I kiss her forehead. She wraps her arms around me and I look over to the painting.

I smile big at the thought of us raising a kid, watching the first footsteps and hearing its first words. There was so much that went into being a parent, and I know I'm not going to be around as much as I would want to. But that baby is going to be loved so hard, so often. I can't wait to meet my baby and show the world how love is stronger than anything else.