Everything About You

Chapter 42

Maagang natapos ang recognition dahil narin siguro sa maayos na flow ng program.

I was waiting for Zky in the corridor sa tapat ng room namin. I told him to meet me here so we could talk.

"Saffi! Hi. I miss you." Bungad ni Zky ng makita ako na naka indian sit sa tabi at inaantay sya.

"Hi." I greeted back.

"Why are you not texting back? What happen?" He curiously look at me like he's been waiting for my answer since yesterday.

"It could change, but this feels like, like the calm before the storm
Not that I don't wanna try, but I've been here before
Friends in town, phone's at home, I tell myself it's fine
Can't remember how you taste, slept alone too many nights"

I bravely turn to face him and throw all my hesitations so I could say everthing that I needed to say.

"I'm leaving." I coldly directed my eyes on him.

"Where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright
Where did we go wrong? I swear I knew we'd last this time
Where did we go wrong? Oh did you, did you change your mind?
How could you change your mind?
Who got inside your mind?
Where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright
Where did we go wrong? I swear I knew we'd last this time
Where did we go wrong? Oh did you, did you change your mind?
How could you change your mind?
Who got inside your mind?"

Napa-awang ang bibig nya sa narinig pero kaagad ding nakabawi. "Where to? Kailan ang balik mo? Vacation?" Sunod sunod nyang tanong.

"No. I'm leaving for good." I remained cold as I look at him.

"Why so sudden?" His face turned stoic. Maybe he notice that I am not joking this time.

"Nothing. I just need to leave." Walang emosyon ko syang tinitigan.

Napailing sya sa sinabi ko. "Why do you need to leave? Why do you suddenly want to leave me?"

"Half my clothes are at your house, and I don't want them back
The smell of you is way too much, not gonna put my heart through that
I don't know how much time we got, I don't know how much to say
I don't know, tell me what you want, I want you to want me to stay"

"Zky please. Don't make this hard. Lets end this." I said almost begging him to just let me go without questioning me more.

"No! Rafi! No you're not leaving. We're not going to end this! We are not going to end anything!" He suddenly freaks out and his jaw clenched.

"Zky please. Just let me go. I just don't want to make it hard for you." I look at him trying so hard to remain cold and holding back the tears that are going to burst.

"Baby this is hard for me." His voice turned soft as he tried to reach for my hand to pull me closer to him.

"Where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright
Where did we go wrong? I swear I knew we'd last this time
Where did we go wrong? Oh did you, did you change your mind?
How could you change your mind?
Who got inside your mind?
Where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright
Where did we go wrong? I swear I knew we'd last this time
Where did we go wrong? Oh did you, did you change your mind?
How could you change your mind?
Who got inside your mind?"

"Zky, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry I have to do this but I can't stay." My voice is already shaking. Gone is the brave Rafi now. Hindi ko na kayang magtapang tapangan. Hindi ko na kayang itago ang sakit.

"If you can't stay then I can just follow wherever you are going. I will study to the same school you're going to enroll. I will be with you. We will try to work things out. Just not like this please. I can't lose you." His voice broke as he whispered.

"La la la la la la la
La la la la oh yeah
La la la la la la la
Ooh ooh ooh"

"Sorry. I can't do this anymore." I said coldly after succeeding to get a hold of my losing self.

He gently caress my face and wipe the tears that I didn't know falling. Hinatak nya rin ako patayo at pagkatapos ay niyakap. "No. You're not going anywhere without me." He whispered to my ear as he pulled me closer and place me in his arms like he will never let me go.

I pushed him with all my strength and distance myself to him. "I'm doing this for you. I'm setting you free. I'm setting you free from guilt and responsibility. I'm setting you free from me because I want you to be happy."

"Where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright
Where did we go wrong? I swear I knew we'd last this time
Where did we go wrong? Oh did you, did you change your mind?
How could you change your mind?
Who got inside your mind?
Where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright
Where did we go wrong? I swear I knew we'd last this time
Where did we go wrong? Oh did you, did you change your mind?
How could you change your mind?
Who got inside your mind?"

"I'm happy with you. Baby please don't do this. I don't understand why are you doing this. I don't understand what are saying." He whispered weakly as he tries to reac for my hand again pero mabilis kong iniwas iyon.

Tinitigan ko ang muka nya. Magkahalong sakit, galit at pagtataka ang nakita ko sa mga mata nya. 

Now I'm confused. Hindi ko malaman kung dapat ba kong maniwala at magpadala sa lahat ng ipinapakita at sinasabi nya sakin ngayon.

Why is he so good at this? Nalilito na tuloy ako kung kasama pa ba sa sinasabi ni Farah na guilt at responsibility ang mga nangyayari ngayon. How could he show me emotions when he don't feel anything towards me right from the start huh? Its so confusing.

"Thank you for everything. Take care." I whispered back ignoring the thoughts that's been running in my mind.

Mabilis akong tumalikod sa kanya at pagkatapos ay tumakbo palayo sa kung saan kami nakatayo kanina.

Kasabay ng pagtalikod ko ay ang pagbuhos ng luhang kanina pa gustong kumawala. Kasabay ng pagtakbo ko ay ang pagtakbo rin paalis ng mga paru paro sa tyan ko. At kasabay ng pagbilis ng paglayo ko ay ang syang bilis ng tibok ng puso kong unti unting nawasak ng makita ko ang parking lot at pumasok sa isipan na tapos na talaga ang kung ano mang mayroon saming dalawa.