Who Can You Trust?

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"You iight?"

Coming out my smoking daze to look at the man I'm in love with and scared of all in one

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"You've been sitting in that same spot for awhile looking into the darkness. Plus you barely said anything during dinner"

Taking another pull from the piece of mind in my hand

"Did you mean it?"

He raises his eyebrow

"Mean what"

I'm talking crazy it was probably just the heat of the moment

Shaking my head

"Um nothing, I'm about to take a shower"

Grabbing a shirt and thong with my blunt in hand I go into the bathroom.

Looking at myself over

Words echo in my head from the past. It's like no matter how much I move on, I can never get rid of my thoughts. It eats me everyday even when I forget for a moment.

Ugly, worthless,fat,disgusting, no one will ever take you serious. Look at you! Your nothing Akoni! Nothing!

Taking myself from the mirror. I'm my worst enemy.

Getting in the shower I stay in until I think he has falling asleep. I'm having one of my moments right now. When I'm high I notice every fucking thing I swear. I'm currently looking at the water go down the little holes.

After I've wasted enough water I get out drying off. Putting my clothes on and throwing my hair in a high ponytail. Getting out the bathroom, when I look up my breath is took from me and tears fall gently on my cheeks.

"Don't do that, come to day. We have a long night a head of us"

"Well dam"

No one has ever done anything like this for me. I honestly love the fuck out of this man.

Cherry's POV

I feel I don't know how to explain it. It's like I feel so fucking halfway free. Putting on some sweats then grabbing my keys. Getting in  my car, I don't know where I'm going but it seems my body does. When I look up to where I am my hands begin shaking and sweating.

Walking up the stairs that hasn't changed one bit since I left.

Before I lose my cool I knock on the door.

My father opens the door puffing his pipe. My mother comes to the door behind him. Her tears begin while my father just looks surprised.

"Jamol? Ol baby you came back"

Before she can completely reach me I step back

"I didn't come here for a fake ass reunion"

"You will watch your mouth!"

"Or what? You gone hit me? I'm used to that from you. I can't think of I've time you giving me love so why not beat me down some more."

"You don't mean that Jamol"

"Don't talk to me! You have no right!"

"I will not stand here and let you talk to your mother in that manner"

"Why? You should beat her like you beat me. She's the reason why I'm the way I am"

"That's a lie son and you know it"

"Bitch my name is Cherry. But ma why don't you tell Dad about the night Uncle Wesley came in my room"

Her eyes grow as big as watermelons

"What is he talking about?"

"Go a head MOM tell DAD how you let that man rape me. You didn't want to tell because you were having a fucking affair with him. You didn't want him to get in to trouble, or stop fucking you so you let him do what he wanted to do MOM. Do head tell him. DAD when did I change?"

He stumbles for a moment I guess processing everything that has been said

"Um you around 6, you would stop talking and cry for no reason. Then you started dressing like a girl and then the makeup. I couldn't understand the change"

"Now you know the reason. I didn't come here to have you in my life. I came to show you I don't need you in my life. I've done some things I'm not proud of but I'm me. You can't take that from me. I came here to tell you that you hurt me, you made me hate my self. So many times I wanted to end it all. But I'm ok,I have a family that loves me for me. They don't judge me, they take care of me. They have my back with no questions asked. I love them just like I love them. I'm just here to show you who I really am. So fuck you and I'm a amazing bitch!"

I flip my hair over my shoulder as I walk away. My strut is fierce like I'm on a run way. I ignore the calls they yell.

I'm complete already

                           🍒Cherry🍒