Hooligan | Dazai Osamu

Not Afraid Anymore (Mafia!Dazai, NSFW)

The air burned your lungs like fire. It was so hot in this small bedroom of some cheap motel, that you two were staying in, that it felt like hell on Earth, but you were used to it. You were used to it ever since you were born, you learned how to survive in it and now,  learned how to tame your own demons and hold them by the leash. you

Except just one, maybe.

Your own personal devil, the king of this hell you were living in, was your reason to live and a key to survive. However, he was the one, who made you want to die from time to time, but you could never blame him. Happens with everyone sometimes, no?

His breath always smelled like alcohol, body was covered in bruises from both inside and out and eyes whispered nothing and screamed about all the pain in the world at the same time. Dazai Osamu was your own personal hell. This little brat, who clouded your mind like a parasite and always left you craving for more of his touches, kisses, bites, everything. This idiot, who never let you forget him, never let you get disappointed in him, who never gave you a chance to forget him. He always used to say, how it was fatally dangerous for you two to date each other, yet he always returned to you after a day or two to get more of your kisses and warmth. The longest he ever waited, before crawling back to you again was one week.

You were his life jacket in this sinful world, he was buried in, after all.

"Ah, shit~" You moaned, interrupting his heavy breathing against your neck "Osamu, hurry~"

Just as always, he was close to you. Very close. Too close. He pressed you tightly to his chest, not giving you any space to breathe as he carried you to the bed with your legs, wrapped tightly around his waist. Not being able to wait any longer, he threw you on the bed, hovering himself above you and rubbing his already hardened member against your crotch, making you arch your back in temptation.

Nothing mattered in this moment, except for his lips, which were harshly and passionately kissing yours. All shreds of fear and noises of gun shots, which were still echoing in your head just an hour ago, were long forgotten. Dazai had this amazing ability to make everything in your mind disappear and replace itself with him.

He was just like morphine: he made you feel euphoria and ecstasy, when he was with you, but whenever, you stopped feeling the warmth of his lips on yours, you always needed more, and the longer you waited to get a taste of him again, the more painful it became with each day.

He pinned your hands above your head, stopping for a second to admire how neon lights from some bar across the street, glided all over you body and how the hickeys on your neck contrasted with them.

You were his Book of Revelation.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered, cupping your cheek, before ripping his shirt, that you were wearing, in pieces, revealing your lacy bra

"You reminded me now, how you once said, that I'm as beautiful as a storm." You replied, arching your back and moaning, when he leaned down and left a hickey on your chest

"Destruction is beautiful sometimes, (Y/N)." He murmured, against your skin "Dark things always mesmerized me. Sin has always attracted me. I'm just a normal human being, who's drawn to things, that I should stay away from."

"Am I bad for you too~?" You asked, smirking slightly and spreading your legs more for him

"Of course~" He smirked, cupping your breasts "Moreover, you're dangerous to me and I should stay away from you. If Mori finds out, that I have a relationship with a civilian, he'll kill me without thinking twice. But you're too magical to stay away from, (Y/N)~ Maybe, you're going to be the death of me, but after all, death is what I always wanted~"

"Ah~" You moaned, closing your eyes "You're not even a little bit afraid to die, Osamu~? You really are a courageous man, then~"

"I'm not, my dear~" He chuckled "I'm anything but courageous or brave, I'm afraid~ I guess, I'm just careless~ I'm not afraid of anything anymore because I stopped caring about almost everything today~ Now, I just need to get lost in pleasure to forget something..."

Suddenly, the air around you wasn't as hot as it was before.

"Osamu?" You raised your eyebrow, looking at him "You didn't say that before. Moreover, you often said, how you feared a painful death. And you used to say, that you're afraid, that something might happen to me or your friend."

He stopped kissing a trail from your chest and down your stomach and just remained frozen with his forehead, still being pressed to your skin.

"I'm afraid, that today, I lost one of the most important reasons for me to stay alive, (Y/N)." He whispered "There were two of you, but now, there's only you. H-He's gone..."

Immediately, all memories and mentions of his friend, that he used to often tell you about, flashed in your head one by one like a movie tape, making you instinctively, sit up and reach for his hair to brush it gently.

"Osamu," You started "What happened?"

~~~

Don't forget to vote or comment :3

Hassliebe vibes, anyone? I kinda miss this story a lot XD

Btw I was kinda inspired by Halsey's "Not Afraid" because ahh it's such an amazing song💜

Also, guys, I'm rlly sick so I might be slow at replying to comments. I'll reply them all for sure as always tho, but just dun think, that I'm ignoring you or smth