Hooligan | Dazai Osamu

To The Charmingest Woman

You've just returned from the funeral of your, now deceased, husband. Your shared house was now even emptier, than it was before, but this was one of those rare times, when this emptiness wasn't a sign of misery. After all, you've lived a good life with Dazai already. It was the right time for you and these walls to simply hold the memories of the times, when this house was once filled with people.

You still remembered it as if it happened yesterday: Dazai, playing with your 4 year old son as you were feeding your 1 year old baby girl. You remembered how happy those days were. Your house was always filled with babies' laughter, what never failed to make a smile appear on Dazai's face. Even as your kids grew up and you two grew older, your life was never sad or filled with suffering because no matter what happened, Dazai was always there for you.

Now, your son was already married to a beautiful and kind girl and your daughter was a very successful artist. Today, both of them were now in this house again with you because they just couldn't leave their mother alone in such a moment. After all, their father passed away 2 days ago in his sleep and unlike you, who lived your whole life already and who knew that you two were just old so it was a normal natural process, they couldn't accept it so easily. So that's why, just like many years ago, they now fully depended on you in this moment.

"Sakunoske." You called your son, who was looking through the album of some old photographs of your family "Put this down. These photos only make it worse for you."

"But mom...I miss him." He replied, lifting his chocolate eyes, which he inherited from his father, to look at you

You sighed and placed your hands on top of his.

"My boy..." You started "Osamu and I knew, that sooner or later one of us was going to leave this world. We were prepared for it. We lived a good, happy life together and we achieved everything, we wanted. Our time has come already. There's no need to be sad. I'm sure, Osamu wouldn't want to see your crying face now."

"How can you take it so calmly...?" He asked again

"Perhaps, it's because I just know, that if..." You paused, thinking if it was alright to discuss this with your son, but decided to continue "If I died first...it would be too hard for him to handle...Your dad saw enough of deaths already...there was no need for him to see mine too because it was his greatest fear. That's why I'm ready to stay here and be the one, mourning...not him..."

Your son was about to answer smth again, when suddenly your daughter, who was looking for something in your bedroom, ran into the room.

"Mom! Sakunoske! I found something!" She exclaimed, showing you a small, folded paper in her hands

"Sakunoske, pass me my glasses, please." You asked your son, before turning back to your daughter "Haruko, show me what's that."

She sat next to you and handed you the paper, which you unfolded after putting on your glasses.

You heart skipped a bit.

Just the first 4 words of this note was enough to make your eyes tear up for the thousandth time today: "To The Charmingest Woman". This was Dazai's handwriting. Moreover, you could tell, that this letter was written just recently because of how messy the text was. His hand was definitely shaking during the process and this was something, he developed just a year ago.

"Haruko, Sakunoske..." You said with your voice, shaking "Can you please leave me alone for a minute? This is something, that I need to read on my own first."

Obeying your request, both of them left you alone, letting you read the letter in peace.

"To the charmingest woman,

(Y/N), darling, if you found this letter, then I suppose, I'm already dead. I have a feeling that it might happen soon. I'm 86 and I feel bad a lot recently. After all, it was much longer, then I was planning to live, before I met you. Alright, enough about that.

My love, I'm not afraid to die anymore. Thanks to you, I've had the most wonderful and the happiest life, I thought, I would never be able to have. We have two lovely kids, that we raised well and who now are going to raise our grandchildren to be as kind as they are. There are tears in my eyes as I'm writing these words for I'm too happy, while recalling the memories of their childhood. Do you remember, how I cried from happiness, when I first held them in my hands?

I've never been good with words and I'm, especially, talentless, when it comes to writing. But there's just one more thing, that I want to try to express through words now.

(Y/N), I know, that you are probably going to disagree with me, saying that you're now old and have wrinkles and grey hair as always, but I'll say it again: you are and will always be the most beautiful and charmingest woman I've ever seen in my entire life. If only, I could just let you feel how much I love you...it's impossible to describe. Now, that I'm thinking about it, even the most skilled writer will never be able to express even a small bit of all the love, that I'm holding for you. It's just too much. I never thought, that I could possibly feel so much love for one person until that day in April, when you accidentally walked into our office by a mistake and turned my life upside down.

Ever since that day, you've changed me little by little. You gave me a reason to live, you gave me love and care, you gave a place to call "home", you gave me 2 kids and much more. Even eternity won't be enough for me to thank you for all of this.

Darling, one night, go outside for me and try to count all the stars you see. If you can't, then you did it right: the amount of stars in the night sky is endless...just like my love to you.

I promise, to carry my love to you and our kids even to the afterlife.

I'm sorry for making this letter so messy. My hand just can't stop shaking. I hope, that you will forgive me.

I love you, (Y/N).
I love you, Sakunoske.
I love you, Haruko.

You are my three stars, which are guiding my way.

With love,

Your husband and dad, Dazai Osamu."

"Dazai...even after your heart stopped, you still know how to make me cry from happiness."

~~~

Don't forget to vote or comment :3

Im leaving to Rome tmr, but luckily I got some free time to write this little smth for you~ and yes, another one shot about being old, but a happy one this time! Yes, Dazai's dead, but he lived a long happy life and it was just the right time for him. That's why nor him, nor Reader wasn't feeling sad.

Hope, you liked it! :)

P.S. WHO HERE WATCHED VIOLET EVERGARDEN??

1) WHY IS MAJOR DEAD?? POOR VIOLET! I RIED RIVERS DURING SOME EPISODES😭😭

2) (I know that it's a very meaningful anime and a sad one, but someone has to say it) WHY IS MAJOR SO HOT??? I CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHY VIOLET LOVED HIS SM